Oh man. Another day of bright sunshine, when I was suppose to be soooo happy in the morning. Getting ready to go to church and have fun. But today, while Im on my way there to church, my dad suddenly give a call and said that got last minute family gathering and wants me to go home at 2pm. And I was like what the... Oh man. And why is it always must be on sunday. I missed church sooo muchhhh... I feel like crying but I was trying to hold on to my tears. Trying to put a smile on my face, pretending to be happy but inside me is another disappointing pain. And when I reach church, again my dad called and I didnt know coz I put my phone is silent mode and after intercession I checked my phone and I see 5 missed calls and is from my dad. And he also send a message and saying that he want to confiscate my phone and cut off my line. Then so I decided to return him a call and asked him what did I do to make him do that, but just before I opened my mouth to ask he started yelling at me etc.. calling me to go home and claiming that I hang up his calls etc.. I really didnt do it la. I dont even dare loh. Sigh. And I really cant hold my tears anymore and I started to cry. I hate to cry. I was not like that. But now.. ehhh.. lolx. Weird heh? Super duper tired sia.. I want to sleep but cant.. But what I still dont understand is I been sowing my love in my parents. I been loving them, trying to understand them but in the end, I get even worse result. Izit everything I do will turn out to nothing??? And I dont want that. Im really worn out. I always tell myself to be happy whenever Im down. And at times I will feel better etc.. but after for a while I feel tired again. Why is that so?? I want to be like sanguine at times. They get over negativity so fast. And I must always rebuke till Im going nuts about it. I want joy!!!