Taking a break now.. Exams is near!! Argh!!

I just want to say something. Sigh. I dreamt of my "best friend" last night. It all about settling our issue in my dream etc.. I was kinda bothered in a way, I been trying to forget this and is still in process.. Well. I heard that he just came back for holidays. He's studying in Australia (Melbourne). I havent been keeping up with him for very long because of some reason again and I guess he dont want to contact me anymore which he stated it before(which was the last time round that he came back from holidays). And it was right in the face of mine, ok? How lovely heh?

3 years plus of friendship just ended like that for some craps reason!! We been through the ups and downs and nothing breaks our friendship but yet now it gone like a windgust. I felt that both party which is he and myself have a part to play and I guess we are just selfish. We are human!! Lol. Sigh. Why he's so GGFF? (if you're not sure abt it. you can come and ask me.) Heart hurts at times. It felt like your heart breaks deeply inside you. No comments! Im sure you know what I meant, right?

Why? Maybe I shouldnt invested in this friendship or maybe I should, so that I can learn something out of it. Ouch!! It really hurts big time!! I guess it does, dont you agree? Mmm. I cant say anything much now, it gone! He choose to end this friendship like that but I dont want to. LEFT A SCAR IN MY HEART!! THANK YOU! But I really think that he shouldnt go on like that because it will affect not just in his friendship but also other relationship with others.

Well. I think in the first place our friendship didnt started with a vision to run with and that will causes it to end.

Well. Just get bored at times and will start to think of old days when I was just a kid. Lovely!!

Well... My house computer and internet broke down.. But I got stuffs to say.

I dont know. Seeing so many people leave church recently. Church? A bored place? Nah! I can confirmed that church is the better place to be at. Church is like my 2nd home. I can say that my love for God is not as strong as it was before but at least Im grateful of what I am now. If I dont know God, dont have God in life, I guess I wouldnt be on earth now still. Living in the world is not easy at times, feeling down everytime but with God, everything is possible. I wont know what is going to happen next but at least I have God, I have nothing to lose about. My church is an awesome church. I really stepped into a church that love God and love people; I have a great pastor who love me so much and of cos, my leaders. Im happy to have them in my life. Thank God for them.

1 thing that I really dont understand. Why most some people can be so on fire now but the next moment, they turned away from God and the people in church. Is people in church so scary that you have to run away? Cant we be normal friends? So difficult meh? Normal friends only mah. I know someone who is at least more or less grateful when he/she left church. Ai. People who invested in your life and they come to you and just want to find out how are you and wondering what had happened to you but yet you still turned away from them. Weird heh? Do you think you leave them question mark in their heart and mind? They are worried for you. Ok. I wont say if you left church about 1-2 weeks, if you dont wish to talk and want avoid for awhile, I think is ok but it shouldnt be longer than that. After that, should be friend again. YEA!! Isnt that be awesome?! Running away cant solve any problem.

Think about it again. Am I right? When people love and invested in you, you turned out to be ungrateful about it. When people dont love you, you sob.. Ehh.. Then what do actually want? Make your stand and choose one.

I love God deep down in my heart and I know it. If I dont, I long have left my reserved seat in heaven. Maybe I did for one week(about 2-3 months back) but my pastor and leaders encouraged me and I made my stand to remain faithful to God. Though alot of times is difficult for me now to really love Him as much as I was once on fire for Him which is about 1year back. My heart is not yet heal up for some stuffs but I believe that God will help me and He's making things better for me now. Im working it with the help of God. Yea!! Desire for the unseen things. For God will bless those who have not seen but yet believe.