Live Like There's No Tomorrow: August 2008

Sunday, August 31, 2008

FIGURE.09 BY LINKIN PARK

Nothing ever stops all these thoughts
And the pain attached to them
Sometimes I wonder why this is happening
It's like nothing I can do
Would distract me when
I think of how I shot myself in the back again
'Cause from the infinite words I could say
I put all the pain you gave to me on display
But didn't realize instead of setting it free
I took what I hated and made it apart of me

It never goes away (x2)

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate myself from
What I've done
I've given up a part of me
I've let myself become you

Hearing your name the memories come back again
I remember when it started happening
I'd see you in every thought I had and then
The thoughts slowly found words attached to them
And I knew as they escaped away I was
Committing myself to them and every day
I regret saying those things
'Cause now I see that
I Took what I hated and made it apart of me

[It never goes away] x2

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate myself from
What I've done
I've given up a part of me
I've let myself become you

[It never goes away] x4

GET AWAY FROM ME!
Give me my space back, you've gotta just (GO!)
Everything just comes down to memories of (YOU!)
I've kept it in but now I'm letting you (KNOW!)
I've let you go! So..

GET AWAY FROM ME!
Give me my space back, You've gotta just (GO!)
Everything just comes down to memories of (you)
I've kept it in without letting you (KNOW!)
I've let you go!

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate myself from
What I've done
I've given up a part of me
I've let myself become you

I've let myself become you
I've let myself become lost inside
These thoughts of you
Giving up on part of me
I've let myself become you

Saturday, August 30, 2008

I could only say I think I did whatever I could to try to convince you. But you choose not to listen. You may say you're listening but you did nothing about it. Maybe you did but you didn't show. Oh well. Isn't it the same as you did nothing at all?

Whether school, teachers and classmates are good a not isn't a problem. After all, is for own good. Teacher sucks? Yes. They sucks! I agreed with you to a large extent but by you doing that don't you think you're actually one of them? They failed as a teachers but do you have to fail as a student? You got to prove it to them. The greatest revenge is that when others have mocked and looked down on you of what you cannot do, you prove it to them that you can do it. The revenge is not to talk back and argue till you win. So what if you win? Er.. A little bit of satisfaction? Ok. But does this satisfaction make you feel that you're another level up for maturity?

Im not very mature but at least my stand is at this point. Im unable to counsel people cos I cant help myself too but is ok. All I want is to implant some logically stuffs in your mind. You can say that I don't understand you etc etc. Yup. The answer is, "Yes, I don't understand you." But does it really matter at this point of time? Ya. I know I have good teachers but so what?! They are not going to take my O level paper for me. Im the one who is going to through this HELL SHIT !! In the end is all about whether did I try my best and do my best? And have I been in class to listen to teachers? You said your teachers teach rubbish? Ok. Er. Then you know what? There's a thing, you would love to hear. "Quit school then! Don't take O level! Do it next year!" Come on, please!! When are you going to think the reality fact? Do you know you actually have to go through another 365 days (total of 8760 hours) to go to school, listen to teachers of what you actually have learnt before and retake again? Is way too tiring. So just wake up now. You cannot buy time. Once time is over, is really over.

One last thing to let you know, you said you care about this friendship. But I think you don't. You said this to me, "Not that I don't care. I care but don't show." Er.. Ok. Then doesn't it sound familiar to you? Don't we always find this from our parents? You dislike your family. Oh well. Why are you becoming like them? You can do better than them! You can change them. You have the capability to do it. But now what?! You're actually becoming one of them? Hmm. They are not perfect. We're not perfect. Give them a chance. They will sure take a lot of encourage, effort and time to see your love but is it all worth it. Continue to love them. Moving out of the house do not solve any problem. But you will cause their hearts to be shattered into pieces. It is enough hurting in this world. The best thing you can do is reduce it. Is not easy but are you willing to try? If your answer is yes, Im sure you will be blessed. But if your answer is no, this pain will be forever with you cos you're creator of it.

Seriously, I don't mind losing a friend if you don't care anything in life. All you could care is... Uh-huh. You know what I mean. I may be very heartbroken from the start but I guess it wont be long. I still have my own life to care about. You just imagine right now at first you got a friend who care for you so much but when the time of caring is over. I could only say is only bye-bye. Until now, I haven't given up my care for you but you seem like pushing it away. Sooner or later, it will be gone if you don't cherish now. If you want it back, I guess it won't be the same again, unless you got to work for it.

I don't want to keep that promise because there is no longer a reason for me to keep. Don't tell me that whatever you want to say now is useless. You never even try and how do you know?

IM IN PAIN AGAIN!! HARDCORE PAIN!!!!

CHAO NI NA B!!

Time: 5.40AM

My Mind: Unable to sleep.

My Eyes: Looking at my monitor screen.

My Nose: BREATHING. DUH!!

My Ears: Listening to music.

My Mouth: Busy talking to Ben Yeo and vomiting.

My Body: Uncomfortable (Kept vomiting. For goodness sake, I havent drink for awhile. Is my DAMN wei again.)

My fingers: TYPING.

My hands: Moving and controlling my fingers. DUH!

My legs: Cross-Legged

My Butt: Sitting on Ben Ee's bed.

I got 2 discount tickets for Singapore Flyer. And on the 15th Aug, I planned a small surprise for Xiaoli. I dont have any ideas to jio her out because this suppose to be a surprising gift for her. So I came up with this idea and I gave her my "excuses".
3 lame excuses that I came up with:
1st- I dont want to be alone when Im going thru my tattoo process.
2nd- To have dinner with her.
3rd- But before doing these 2 things, I told her that she got to first accompany me somewhere. (which is the Singapore Flyer).

Just see the photos first....

Pic 1: Before going up...

Pic 2: Up there... the view is WOAH!!

Pic 3: Half way thru...

This photo is well taken, right? Of cos la! The photographer is me mah. Hee.

Pic 4: Coming down...

What is she doing? Er. She just solving some LOVE picture out. What LOVE picture? I went to get all the photos of Ben, her and I took long long time ago and put it all together to form a word called LOVE. Is 2 set of photo of the combination. 1st combination was LO and the 2nd is VE and both pictures put together and that formed LOVE. Hee. Damn cool, right? I took 3 days but one day 3 hrs to arrange it. Damn tiring but it was worth it. Because I love them. Ben also have that pic too.

She said she damn happy and never imagine that she could be able to go up there. Im so so so so happy that she appreciate it and she kept thanking me. That is all I need. One more time, my love tank is filled up. =) And is her smile that make my day become brighter. Hahaha. Of cos, there were alot of photos taken but too many till Im too lazy to upload.

I been studying a lot this week. Very tiring. Cheryl, Glenn, Jin Kai, Xiang Ding, Zhi Wei, and I forget who already. I think up to 9 people went to airport to study. From 11pm chong till 6am. Of cos, we also take break in between lah. We aint no superman and superwoman. You know what we did? We went to play hide-and-seek cum catching. Best! Why leh? Cos we want to keep ourselves alert. I guess I will post pictures again cos now I at Ben Ee's place (with Ben Yeo. THE TWO BENS. Ha) then too lazy to upload the pictures from my phone. Hee. Anyway Im using his MacBook Pro. Hee. NICE!!! I kept studying till I cant le cos too tired to focus already. *yawn*yawn*

Yesterday I went back to PHS for teachers' day celebration but is always not meeting up with teachers but is... A reunion of friends getting together. Actually I didnt want to go but for that reason and cause I will go .. Before that I already had a few of my ex-classmates kept asking me asked me to go back but I kept rejecting them. Is ultimate late decision that I made. Cos can be able to meet up with Ben Yeo, Yuru and Xiaoli. Hee. We went to Jalan Kayu (with Ivan from sec 4 tagged along with us) to eat Wanton Mee. Cos Xiaoli wanted so badly that we decided to go there to have our lunch. Hahaha. The food was awesome but Ben said that in the evening one is even better!

After that, we go our ways. Ben and I (Team 1) tagged and Xiaoli and Yuru (Team 2) tagged. Team 1 go to Ben's place and Team 2 go to Xiaoli's house. Why leh? Ben wants to get some stuffs done and Xiaoli wants to go home to get change cos she's in school uniform!! hahah. Cos we planned to go IKEA for DINNER!! BEST!! 2 hours later, we got our things done and met at Tampines IKEA. We went to walk around and kept planning on how to decor our house in the future. The feeling is damn shiok. Hahaha. At 7pm, we ordered plenty of foods and eat till we damn full! We really enjoyed ourselves. We all went back home at 9pm but I ended up going to Ben's place to sleep. Cos he wants to pass me a secret recipe book for history. Woah! I swear is damn good. While at his place, I studied the book and he played computer games. Ben give up his bed and let me sleep and he went to his living room and slept on the sofa. So sweet loh. Gentlemen siol. But damn ke lian lah he. His sofa damn short and he is tall then he ended up got to fold his legs to sleep.

We both woke up at 8am plus and get ready for school!! He got no school(he's having holidays) and he pei me go to school for my physics mock test. Why he pei me? I dont know but cos he want to know my friends too. Is not a random thingy but that is what he always wanted. So we went to school today and he waited for me SAM, Dome (beside my school) and sat there for 2 hrs. I felt damn bad loh and I kept apologizing to him but he kept saying is ok. After that, he called Ben Ee to come down to pei him and get to know my friends too. 2 hrs later, I went down to find Ben and Ben Ee also reached there but 2 mins earlier than me. Lol. Fainted. So in the end, Ben Yeo, Ben Ee, Cheryl, Nat and I went to PS to eat NASI PANGANG. Then we went over to Suntec for IT fair. Etc etc.. Ai. Im too tired to type le. But Im glad that all of them can click damn fast. Hee. So happy.

UPDATE ON PHOTO! 31 Aug

Pic 1: Me studying SS. Im the only one there who is very seriously

studying. Dont believe me?

Pic 2: First Night at T1 Changi Airport.
Glenn is playing PSP.
Cheryl is sleeping
JK is sleeping too.

Pic 3: 2nd Night at T1. They were all very serious at the start.
Glenn is resting after studying alot.Well Done!

Pic 4: DINNER At IKEA! SHIOK! Still got group photo but with Xiaoli. She havent upload it.

Pic 5: Yuru and Xiaoli

Friday, August 29, 2008

FOREVER BY PAPA ROACH

In the brightest hour of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can't get over you, can't get through to you
It's been a helter-skelter romance from the start

Take these memories that are haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds
By his own pair of scissors
He'll never forgive her... he'll never forgive her...

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by a fire on a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl... little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of a life

You're my heroine- in this moment I'm lonely
Fulfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs, all these women
I'm never forgiven... this broken heart of mine

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears, it is time to let you go
One last kiss (one last kiss) before I go (before I go)
Dry your tears (dry your tears), it is time to let you go

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss (one last kiss) before I go (before I go)
Dry your tears (dry your tears), it is time to let you go
One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears, it is time to let you go

One last kiss...

SCARS BY PAPA ROACH

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'caues you came around
Why don't just go home
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I could say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

WAHAHAHAHAHA.. Im back from Singapore Zoo!!! In the end, only Glenn, Jin Kai, Renyi, Cheryl and I went. Heehee. Hey. Whatever to those who ps us in the end!! We enjoyed ourselves. We feed the animals and we take photos like mad. Lol.

Picture 1: The entrance of ZOO.

While waiting for Glenn to come....

Yeah!! We got our tickets!

Picture 2: False Gavial is a fresh-water reptile, resembling a crocodile with a very thin and elongated snout resembling that of the gharial, hence its name.

Picture 3: King Cobra

Picture 4: Pythons

Picture 5: Anaconda (World's Largest Snake)

Picture 6: chimpanzees

Picture 7: Giraffe

Picture 8: Lions (but Zzzz...)

Picture 9: Babirusu (Wild Boar)

Picture 10: White Tigers

This white damn know how to do catwalk for us. Born to be a MODEL!!

Picture 11: BABOONS!! 86 of them.

Picture 12: Otters!!!

Cheryl asked the zookeeper to let her feed the Otter. Damn cute!!

Picture 13: Polar Bear!! He's swimming.

Picture 14: Orang Utan

Picture 15: Penguins!!

It's swimming!!

Picture 16: Australia Outback in Singapore! I dont know what is the name of that BIRD!!

Picture 17: Tapir

Picture 18: They are not animals. I took it because it make us 5 of us think of our childhood days when we go for excursion. Bloody a lot of children!!! We're basically flooded by them.