HOLY CRAPS!! This morning, Irene sms me and told me they are back from New York. The reason they went there because Sunni intended to relocate there. MAD PEOPLE ON EARTH! Speechless but I'm glad that they are back.

Sometimes life is disgusting.. Well.. I'm not talking about my life. Generally I just felt very disgusted with people who don't work hard but want money to come in hand so easily. Yes, we have our lazy moments but I don't think it should be a long period kinda moment. Well.. My generation people are just very spoilt.. Including me. Cos now.. I have the habit of wanting my dad to pick me up after work.. So to save money on transportation.

I guess my generation really "abused" our parents too much. Right now, my parents are making me feeling.. Life is getting tougher as you grow older. The worse part is when you started to earn your own money, they really kinda washed their hands off from you.. To make you learn how to survive. I really appreciated their "plans" but again... Still.. Sometimes... I really wanna give up. There are two things that motivate me to go on are when I see most of my friends are still relying on their parents for a living.. It's just make me stronger in a way. Secondly, I have Jie & AL to motivate me; AL is rich but he don't rely on his parents which most of the rich kids are not like that anymore. The best is Jie have already build a strong foundation that even if she don't have her dad to support her, she still can live and much better than what her dad can provide her. I really admire them very much. So I always tell myself not to rely on my parents so much. Yes, there are many times I need my parents' help but maybe they know that I can pull through.. So they make it tougher for me.

I'm really tired somehow.. But I know I can pull this through and it will make me stronger. I must enjoy this process; suffer now and enjoy it later in life. =)

I guess it been awhile since blogging.. Well.. I think I will move on with the Sunni's issue for now.. Cos I don't want held it for long as I'm thinking to further studies; my dreams. Right now, I have no money and didn't have good results for O Level..... Amazingly ITE just open a new course called "Visual Communications", so I going to apply for that with my N level which I scored not so bad. I emailed ITE on how high is my percentage to get in, they seem like.... Giving me high hope. Cool! And luckily I have portfolio, I guess I should be able to do it. =) I have no choice right now. $1000++ for 2 years school fee, not so bad hor. All thanks to government who funded local school so much money. THANKS!

I've booked a day with her already... I need to talk to my HOD soon about my plans. I'm gonna find a part time job while schooling... Since my parents don't want to support me then I need to get stronger in life. I can survive!! Then... I'm gonna give up on taking driving license. Cos I'm thinking to get motorbike license first!!! WHEEE!!!

"A weird MIA case"

Well... I really have a very weird feeling about Sunni and Irene. They kinda suddenly "disappeared" in my life. I don't know what's going on. It's very strange when both of them, especially Sunni always doting on me and then.... DA-TA! GONE!

Ehhh.. Maybe I may be the one who gave them too much "brightness" in their lives... As in.... You know... Girls are very insecure by nature. I'm not bad mouthing.. Maybe Irene don't like me hanging out with them so often. Not saying Irene dislike me but.. Yaya. I guess everyone know what I'm trying to drive at. Plus Sunni always talk to her about me, like maybe all day long..?? Sigh.. I feel so puzzled right now and whatever I'm saying are just making wild guesses.

Can you imagine almost everyday, every lunch, I go out with them? Sometimes dinner too. The best part is... Sunni somewhat became like my dad, he enjoyed driving me around (exactly like my dad). So whenever he is free, he will come to my office, pick me up and send me back home. They are very nice to me. So nice till.... You feel like as if they are your biological parents loh. Even Irene will ask me whether do I have enough money to eat a not? Look out for me etc.. But now how can they suddenly disappeared in my life?? Not saying I'm using/misusing them, I never once did that. Actually I don't even allow them to pay for my food but they always call me to keep my money because to them, they think they earn more than I do, so is their "responsibilities" to take care of me. Of cos there are days, I'm really broke but they don't even mind paying everything for me. So nice lah!

According to my memory, I never done anything wrong to them. Before me, they also treated one of their employee like that too, love them like as if is their biological son. Buy him Xbox, handphone, bring him out to eat, buy him clothes, etc.. But that employee "betrayed" their trust and break their hearts. Irene cried when she was telling me everything about how much they loved him but the guy, he... Yup! THEN WHAT DID I DO?!!! Sigh.... I seriously don't know what happened to them lah. I guess I really misses them a lot but they are not replying my sms, the last time I called Sunni, his hp is off. I bought gifts for them from Bali and... What should I do with it now?

Another thing... I'm making a guess is.... Sunni is in trouble. I think is not very nice to say this part on blog but again... How can it be?? He is not some crook guy lah. ARGGHHHH!!! ANNOYING!!! Where are both of you?? I already texted you guys... Like if both of you don't like me, can tell me straight, no need to avoid me. Is like.. I can understand, respect both of you and your decision. I will be better off with your reasons than rather both of you leaving me clueless lah. Sigh. =(

Woohoo!!! I came back home this morning at 6am. I had a birthday celebration last night at Changi Beach!! It was CHERYL PHUA'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!! Well... Of cos, I gave her alot of presents. We drink quite a lot. I think Cheryl was like.... A little high? Lol. I guess everyone too lah. It was fun to mingle around with some people. Enjoyed myself yesterday.

Anyway my blog is like..... Somehow dying lah. Probably as I grow older... I think I don't have the desire to talk more about my life. LOL!

Sometimes I'm just so angry in life that I kept almost everything to myself. Digesting all the pain, angriness, hurts etc.. I felt like I screwed my life up with all these wrong choices. Well... It just drained out so much strength in me and I really feel like... Dying? Well.. I guess it just serve me right who didn't make the right choice from the very beginning of my life.

I didn't treasure time the way I should. I know what I want to do in life but again, I'm always stuck in my situation. It's always about money that make your life "stop" here. If my parents could only afford my education right now.. Things may change. I don't want to live on like this, doing the same old job. My passion is design. I may or may not go far in design in my life but what I know is I do love what I'm suppose to do and good at. I don't need to be filthy rich (even though I know that is one of my dream) but I have this feeling- If I'm in designing line, I already can feel the richness of it. I can't buy my passion, my dreams or even sell them. I already have determined this is my life. Just like everything is already recorded in the book of your destiny. Just like there is a phrase, it says, "Every taste of bitterness comes with a little bit of sweetness."

I feel like sleeping now.... Cos I cried in the late afternoon while having heart to heart session with my HOD. Well... Is nothing much. Just feeling emotional that point of time cos it was hitting my weakness and plus I haven't cry for quite some time already. So I just need to let my tears flow down my cheeks for that moment. LOL! I'm still the same yesterday and today.

I suddenly have the urge to quit my job right now to take a break and move on from there.

Right now, I feel I've suffered for quite a while already... Sigh.. When are my parents releasing me to further my education?

Is the ignorance that hurts. Probably I've let go and probably I didn't. I've come to a point of confusion.. Right now I'm just feeling that I accidentally "re-open" my wound again.. I guess I'm feeling emotional because I can't understand why everyone just have to hurt everyone. Why and where did selfishness come about? I've always try to avoid hurting others because I don't want to further the relationship with him/her. But again, I'm always hurting those who I love the most cos I don't want the love to go on. Well.. Maybe also because I'm really protecting myself from getting hurt again.. This is what I really called selfishness.

Sometimes the solution of leaving someone in your life is to break the person's heart deeply; leaving an ugly side of yourself, it doesn't matter anymore cos your goal is to... Get the person you love the most to forget about you. Is it a painful path.. At the end, you may or may not feel remorseful. Oh well... I just don't want to carry on anymore. It's just too much to say.

Nothing will ever last.. There is no forever.. No relationship can lasts. What you can do is just hope for the best and make every time worth to spend.. When time is up, I guess is time to say goodbye.

I'm still at Bali, leaving in awhile time. I'm done with packing. I really enjoyed myself here with my colleagues. I'm glad without my parents for the passed 4 days. We have been doing devotion, spa, shopping, team building games, play games etc...