This is my favourite auntie!!! And she's the eldest among all aunties which is my mum's side. I love her so much. I used to stay at her house when I was a baby. Hee..

That's my DADDY!! We were so close last time.. I really kinda treat him like my close friend and I always followed him everywhere he go. But now I dont know whether I still treat him like my friend anot. And I really missed those days that I had with him.

My 6th birthday and that was my last time celebrating with my family. Im still wandering when will my family celebrate with me again. Anyway that cake was bought by my Godma (Norman's Mum).If not, I dont even think my parents even celebrate my 6th birthday. Im grateful and thankful for my 6th birthday. Thank you, Godma. I love you always though sometime I feel that you are cold toward me nowadays.

Mmm.. Looking at my past which I had with my grandparents.
Nicest grandparents on earth. heehee.

Ehh.. There's improvement on my make up of gothic look. My friend taught me loh.. Im not trying to express anything here la. Im just wanted to try out something new. Heehee. Can I walk on the street like that?? Wondering how can I get use to it.

Burger, Onion, Drink in the shopping centre??? lol. cute, right??

Do you know how to write Jesus Christ in japanese???

I can show you.



And this is how you write Jesus Christ in japanese.

sometime I really dont wish to have a family.

Argh... All I want is to be ALONE!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!


WHY?

-I dont even know why I want to be alone??
(Can anyone tell me the reason?)

...Im worn out...

t.i.r.e.d.

u.n.d.e.r.s.t.a.n.d.???

Wah.. Last night which is about 3am in the morning, I just realised that in 10 days time is CHRISTMAS. Oh man! Is on SUNDAY!!!! Arghhh.. Sigh.. I want to celebrate with my church mates. Coz what I want to see is one big group of people celebrating together, it just make me feel that we are ONE BIG FAMILY!!!! Yeah!! And it mean alot to me. =) And that's what make me feel happy too. Whenever I take singapore transports(which mrt trains and buses), and when I see all those families, they were just smiling away and having fun together etc.. It just make me smile with them too, and hoping that family can be like that too.. Of coz, sometime I do see those quarreling all over ones. And what make me want to do is just walk toward to them and talk to them etc.. But another hand, I dont have the courage to go coz I was telling myself I cant even handle my own family and now I want to help others. And what I can only do is to walk away from the scene. Sigh. (At times, I also felt so hopeless and useless for not helping my own family.) Im trying to be positive but I cant.. Please help me!! Anyone?? But even I become positive, after for awhile I go back being negative again. I hate it!!! Cos it make me form a negative pattern.. (Example: Eh.. Killing my whole family etc..) Im scare and I also dont know how to express my emotion and feelings at times. Im going nuts soon.. Somebody please help me!!! I know God is bigger than anything. God can help me and I know. [But God, please help get out of this quick. I cant tahan any longer..] Im so worn out and I want to sleep. Anyone want to give me a hand? Just hit my head with a baseball bat. Just let me knock out. Cos the negative thoughts keep going and going till I cant sleep at times. Im tired and I really wanna sleep la, stupid negative thoughts. You so sickening loh.. Go away la

I DON'T KNOW what's wrong with ME.
But what I only know is
I want to be
ALONE!!!
ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, 'n' ALONE!!!
Alone is all over in my mind right now. And soon I'm going nuts..

[when will I be perfectly fine? I dont know Im still trying to figure out.
someone is helping me out already. dont worry. I just need more time.
please be patient with me.]
and I'm sorry that if I have hurt you.

the seriousness of prayer at the esplanade (waterfront). 

my group were at the waterfront there at esplande mall. heehee.. =D 

haha.. That's my group during my LTC 2005 intake 1. These are the photos I copy from my pastor's blog cos she posted some of the photos on her blog.. and i got my spiderman t-shirt on.. lol. 

Woohoo.. You know WHAT?!!
I now then realised that my blog is 371 Days old (which is 1yr and 6 days).
Lolx!!! Muahahaha.. So dumb, right?!

Haha.. Guess what? I dont know what to post again.. Argh.. Nevermind. Maybe I think you guys wanna know how am I doing. Firstly I dont know whether Im fine anot.. But I guess I am. Sometime I really feel very tired of the things going on at my house. My Parental Objection of coming to church is not my first time.. But this time round, I got alot of hurt & pain going on (esp with my mum). I find it so difficult to forgive a person. Probably due to my personality. Im a Mel-Phleg. Lolx.. But Im in the process of forgiving my mum but the more I forgive her, it does make me hate myself even more(WHY?). Too much hatred inside me?? Maybe. Sometime when my anger hit the boiling point.. I try not to let my anger get out of me because... If not... blah blah (dont have to go further detail, right?). And when the more I dont let it out, then I will start to feel a very strong numbness toward pain.. But you guys dont worry. Coz when I do my piercing, Im not in the bad mood or anything. I just wanted to pierce there.. Haha. If bad memories & heartache compare to all the punching wall & piercings, which one is more painful? I will say bad memories & heartache. It get so long to get heal. Only this is the part, I will feel and find my pain there etc.. Anyway Im going to end here.

excuse me? can i go your house?? lolx. kidding.

lastly me & norman!!! lol.. finally me and him take photo again.. yeah!

Hey! That's a HI 5!!!
Arghh... But my hand and a baby's hand???
Er. Is like one is giant and one is dwarf. lol.

heehee. do you all still remember the baby I post that time? i think she look like hamster now sia.. oops... =X

yum yum.. munching all the way...