I always feel secured about your love for me because all these while, I make the effort to believe and trust cos you showed it to me by doing the same. I know you're busy but still... I wish to spend time with you. Most of my time, I think of you. Somehow my mind just never stop missing you. I know for the passed 2 years, I havent did anything that can be praise, wow abt or whatever it is but still... I can only say I really miss you badly. Yes, I kept this deep down in my heart. So that I can have this silliness all by myself. I know I looked strong on the outside but I have my flaws inside me. I guess everyone has it too.

Yes. I failed many times. I failed God. I failed you. I failed to fulfill what was given to me. I failed what was planned. But I never fail to think of you. My heart is screaming inside me cos I want to spend time with you. It been a long while since we sat down to chat. Maybe Im not as much important than..... Well... All I want is to have a short time with you.

Yes. At times, all these made me felt that Im a failure. Im too afraid to step up again. Im afraid to believe, trust and give my life for what's worth living on earth. Im angry with people; our people, my friends, my family, my life, my everything. I have no courage to pick up my failures. Yes. The last round- I was burnt out. I cant handle it anymore. I cant handle people. I cant handle things that are not explain clearly to me. I cant believe I kept doing the wrong things. I cant believe why I tried to but what I get is..... Sigh. That why all these times, I avoid as much as I could.

In the end, I tried to move on by doing other things cos I know I dont want you to see me in bad shape. Yes. All these while, I been walking with my strength, my stubbornness, my wilful mindset etc but Im bitting my tongues to walk my way out with this deepest pit of mine.

All I ever want is you.
All I ever want is your word.
All I ever want is your hugs.
All I ever want is your love.
All I ever want is to see you more often. (Come on. Not just on sat.)
All I ever want is to spend time with you.
Maybe all these while, I havent get the position
where I could have a little time of yours.

And all I want you to know is I love you very much.
Deep down in my heart.
Thank you for everything all these years.
I can never forget what you have invested on me.
Esp I love the way how you understand me on the spot
when I have difficulties expressing myself.

THANK YOU AND I DEFINITELY LOVE YOU
MORE THAN WHAT YOU THINK