Okay. Im making my blog simple. Removing my 100's list at the side.

I know what I want on my list. It will be always imprinted in my brain.

Blue- Not yet fulfill.

Red- Fulfilled!!

1. Do smth sweet for Ben & XL
2. 16GB ipod touch
3. Nikon D90
4. Headphone
5. iMac
6. MacBook Pro
7. Ed Hardy Hoody
8. Ed Hardy T-shirt
9. Ed Hardy Mens Denim
10. Ed Hardy Belt
11. Ed Hardy Belt Buckle
12. Ed Hardy Shoes
13. Ed Hardy Watch  
14. Puma shoes
15. DCSHOECOUSA T-Shirt
16. DCSHOECOUSA Lanyard
17. DCSHOECOUSA Shoes
18. DCSHOECOUSA Mens Denim
19. DCSHOECOUSA Fleece
20. DCSHOECOUSA Belt
21. DCSHOECOUSA Jacket
22. DCSHOECOUSA Backpack
23. DCSHOECOUSA Sticker
24. Volcom T-Shirt
25. Volcom Bottle Opener Keychain
26. Volcom Mens Denim
27. Volcom Fleece
28. Volcom Belt Buckle
29. Volcom Belt  
30. Volcom Wallet
31. Volcom Cap
32. River Island Wallet
33. What's Good? Belt
34. Watch F1 w Alistair
35. AQUARIUM FISHES!!
36. Learn Skateboarding from scratch
37. Learn Drums from scratch
38. Learn Disc Jockeying
39. To be a Pro of Photoshop-ing
40. Portrait Tattoo; My Parents
41. Portrait Tattoo; My Brother
42. Portrait Tattoo; My Godma
43. Portrait Tattoo; My Cousin, Nor
44. Portrait Tattoo; Jesus
45. Portrait Tattoo; Mother Mary
46. Portrait Tattoo; Ben Yeo
47. Portrait Tattoo; Xiaoli
48. Portrait Tattoo; Alistair
49. Portrait Tattoo; Pamela
50. Tattoo; Barcode of Ben.Xiaoli.Jo
51. Tattoo; Adolf Hitler's name
52. Tattoo; Last Supper
53. Tattoo; Prayer hand
54. Tattoo; Mr.Bean's teddy
55. Tattoo; Cookies Monster
56. Tattoo; Patrick
57. Tattoo; Bikini Bottom
58. Tattoo; Heartagram
59. Get my nape pierced
60. Get my eyebrow pierced 
61. Get my septum pierced 
62. Enlarge my ears holes to 10mm
63. Med-Muscular (not so soon) 
64. New Hair-do (not so soon)
65. Clothing line Business
66. Advertisement Business
67. Shoes Business
68. Spa & Massage Business
69. SUBWAY Restaurant Franchise
70. Ben & Jerry's Franchise
71. Volcom Franchise
72. See Jay Chou
73. See Marshall Mathers, Eminem
74. See Marilyn Manson
75. A DEGREE in Business
76. A DEGREE in Visual Communication
77. A DEGREE in Photography
78. A DEGREE in Film Making/Editing
79. A DEGREE in Counselling
80. A Cert of Bartending
81. Car License
82. Motorbike License
83. Boat License
84. Forklift License
85. Mercedes Benz
86. Mini Cooper
87. HONDA VTX1800 
88. HONDA CBR1100XX S.Blackbird
89. Condominium at Cathay
90. Landed Property 
91. HDB Flat

Yeah. I only have 91 wish list on my 100's list. Well. I guess everyone got "tricked" by 100's list is a must 100's list. Nah. Not really but at least I have something to be fulfilled in my life. I love myself.

Why am I so angry about everything in life? I didnt have to go thru what I have gone thru.

Dont ever preach to me abt how to forgive and forget. Why?! The answer is cos I seen too much selfish people on earth. So why should I give way? Why should I give in? Why should I be the giving one in the bloody first place? Yes. I am bitter. So what?! Doesnt it really matter? My issue wont be affecting anyone. It wont kill you for sure. Im just upset. Well. Not  emo-ing but going thru of being damn angry. Emo-ing is like nit wit lah. I dont want to be a nit wit. 

Anyway I dont wish to know you again. Thkq.

28 Apr 2009

Arts class was fun. We drew our classmates and this is what my classmates drew when it was my turn to pose. 

Siti's drawing.

Rangeetha's.

Cephas's drawing. Thkq for drawing everyone's eyes like tt. Lol.

Chia Fang's. She really can draw. 

HELLO?! Where's Angeline's drawing?!

Well. This is lesson is damn damn damn tired after drawing 6 people. AIYO!!

Im happy that I know what I want in my life. I didnt regret walking this path of mine. Yes, I screwed up this path of mine in life. Well. It's over.

I have issues. Big issues; Im angry about everything, just plainly frustrated. I seriously got no idea why am I like that. Sigh. Day by day, Im moving on cos I know I have dream. 

Here's coming my whining sessions:

I cant sleep when Im tired. 

When Im tired, Im damn high. 

When Im damn high, I want to sleep. 

When I want to sleep, I cant relax. 

When I cant relax, my migraine will act up. 

When my migraine start to act up, I will whine. 

When I start to whine, I'll get crazy abt everything in my life. 

When I get crazy abt everything in life, I will be angry with people. 

When Im angry with people, I hold onto grudges. 

When I held onto the grudges, I will turn nasty. 

When I turn nasty, I couldnt understand why am I like that.

When I cant figure out what's wrong with me, I will find time to spend time with myself and grab a coffee to calm myself down.

When I finally got myself calm down, I will start to dream about my future.

When Im possessive about dreaming my future, I will begin to smile through out the day.

When I start smiling, I thank God for who I am, where I am at now and how my future is going to be.

Im perfectly fine in my life- even though I no longer have strong relationship with my "Dad". Im so sorry to say about this. Yes, I still pray at times but I no longer feel and want to be faithful in my relationship with Him for now. Im just too upset with people around me. Man fail man but God doesnt. Well.. Too bad, my relationship with people dont seem to be sweet, so neither I want mine with God too. My purpose in life is not out there to please anyone and guess what? I've been doing that too much in my life. That's why Im so pissed and angry in this season of my life. Well. I bet this anger gonna last for a long time. Sweet. =]

Im damn damn damn tired. I didnt managed to rest when I head to work today. The whole day, I was watching online movie and figuring out on how to revive my personal hard disk. AND YES!!! Finally, my hard disk is back!! ALIVE!! 

After work, I head down to church to meet Zhan. Well. We chatted and also had an appointment with some of my cg mates for my belated bday celebration. We had zi cha in the end cos we couldnt make up our mind. It's really a small celebration and which is what I like the most. Even though, it wasnt so grand or what so ever but I guess Im happy to have what I want in my heart.

My mates made a card and bought me water soluble pencil for present. Im happy to receive the gift. Just felt that it's really the nice time to give me this. Thks guys.

Truck lots of things to post!!! 

20 April 2009

CHEC Staff's Bday celebration!! Woohoo!! It was nice and sweet. It was Miss Jasmine's bday too. Hahaha. We ate PIZZA instead!! My favourite!! Miss Tiffany is the best!! I think Miss Jas love PIZZA too. We are PIZZA LOVERS! Teehee.

21 April 2009 

Woohoo!!! I didnt have to head to work for the day! Cos Miss Jelaine said so.. Of cos got reason lah... Due to I have to work like crazy hours for this week. So I guess she want me to have a small break too, thus it my BIRTHDAY. So nice, right? I went to school to meet up with Angeline and Tracey for lunch cos they want to. I didnt really know their plans for me. So we went MOS Burger and they treated me to Ebi Burger meal set. They both went to queue together to get the food and one of them which is Angeline went to toilet as Tracey claimed to say, "Angeline went to toilet cos tu zi tong." So the very first time, I didnt suspected anything. Food's here and about 5 mins? Here come... Angeline with a cake!! Hahaha. I see!! So they really went to "make" a cake for me uh. Hahaha. Well. They are really sweet. I didnt expect much from them but well they really did a great job. Im happy to know them. Angeline chose Tom from 'Tom and Jerry' and she said she wanted to get 'Hello Kitty' for me. Luckily she didnt, if not I will skin her alive. 

Yes, after celebration, we went shopping trip for the sake of Angeline and Tracey. Haha. Two of them are like.... Xiao hai zi!! And Angeline made me a card and give me a cross from Precious Moment. =)

Hahaha. Well. Her bday card was sweet. A little all over the place and I can really tell she really want to write tons of things but cos she's really lazy cos all the msg seem to be like a summary. Well. She changed alot and definitely for the better. Im happy for her. And I can ever seem to get angry with her.

We went back to school for Arts lesson. Yes. I opened the fridge to 'park' my cake from A&T and I saw another big bday cake in the fridge and I just exposed whoever who bought me the cake in my office. Yes, I was damn bad till they damn paiseh. Hahaha. Im sorry. I never fail to expose people lah. Sorry. Cos I think too highly for myself. HAO LIAO KIA!!! Oops. =X And I found out was from 'Little Big Creativity Centre' (new company by Mr Kenny). Okay.. Long story here.........

All the way to my Arts class. I was sitting beside Angeline for half an hour. And Mr John was called out by Miss Catherine for "some matter". Hahaha. Mr John's expression is O.O - What did I do? Lol. Angeline turned to me and said, "zdfbskjfsof" (something in chinese that I cant rmb) and I replied her, "Are you thinking of what Im thinking?" Hahaha. And the next moment, we got it right!!

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Joann! Happy birthday to you!", Little Big and Miss Cath. Yes. Thank you- Daphne, Hsin Yin, Cath Lee and Miss Cath Goh. =) Double happiness!! The fruits cake is damn nice. I love fruits cake!! Love you, girls!!

After school.... ARGHH!! Last min, I have to "work"!! *RAWR* 

Continue....

Yes. I still have to rush down to meet jiejie. And guess what?! Jiejie made a trip to come to EC to find me. Hahaha. So nice. Yes, after Im done with my last patch up of work. We went off to yishun- to some wulu wulu place to eat zi cha. It's so cheap and delicious!! We ordered 7 dishes of food!!

Our 7 DISHES of the day!!

Yes. And we got it all done!!

After dinner, Jie asked me to follow her to collect my heart jelly. TA-DA!!

She bought it from her fren, Angel. She made this. It's superb!!

Jie is always surprising me unknowningly. We actually made an agreement that we're not suppose to get another anything but well... Here we go again.. She bought me 19 jelly heart for a treat. =) I love her lots.

22 Apr 2009
Another day of busy day. Another food session with family for my bday.

23 Apr 2009
Hahaha. It's Jiejie's bday. We meet up for dinner. Spring chicken, cheese fries, rojak and stringray!!

Su came over to my place to pass me- my bday present. Nice! Another list to be canceled out!! Woohoo! Thank you!

25 Apr 2009
Bloody busy!! Busy till I dont even get a chance to catch my breathe. I screwed up a little. I didnt make the name tags for the MOE that are coming to visit EC. Yeah. It was an awesme experience. I feel that Im growing. And yea, I woke up at 5.30am to prepare and collect food from Delifrance etc. Set up these and that. It's was really tiring but Im glad that I survived.

I went off early to meet Ben for a coffee and relax.

26 Apr 2009
DAMN IT!! My parents disturbed my sleep again!! *yawn* I need rest. I really need it! Nevermind. Yup. Went on to meet Ben with my dad. Pick him up at his place and went down to blah blah and get my MACBOOK PRO!!! Woohoo!! Im gonna use it like a pro, talk it like pro, play it like pro!! Woohoo!! Im bloody happy. I didnt have the money to get it but well.. My sweet bro lend it to me. Thank you and now I have to pay him by monthly installment.

I went down to chc to work at 4pm cos little big need to set up a booth to advertise. Yeah. Many many children. So cute!! I carried Hsin Yin's baby!! Hahaha. Baby Matt smell so nice. So cute till I feel like buying him. =X

27 Apr 2009
RIGHT NOW IM FEELING VERY TIRED. BRAIN FREEZE!! I have to work in a while and after work, Im heading to meet my churchmates for my bday celebration.

Well.. Yesterday was a nice and calm meet out with my primary schoolmates. We went Vivo for Marche. Actually we werent really celebrate Agnes and my bday. It more a catch up session with one another. Hahaha. For my longest time, I feel so good about how my pri schoolmates handled money matter. They werent calculative and Im just amazing loh. They came across very nice with what indidivual had ate etc. Just felt that one another werent taken for granted. It is like very nice. They wont even come across like, "Can you return my 0.001 cents." Lol. I really have friends like that. Dont laugh. Im serious. You will be so amazed. Plus that friend of mine is damn damn damn rich. I dont know what gone up their brains. As if, if you dont return them the amount that they want, they will go bankrupt loh. Whatever to them lah.

Yesterday's session wasnt nice after all. Maybe cos we bloody long never see each other for very long. Probably is me who was feeling awkward while chatting with them even though I was the one who kept telling the jokes and adding some fun into it. Ohh well.. But I do feel glad that I catch up with them.

I been dreaming so much about my future. Lol. Siao!! Im so happy and Im in my lalalalala land to the fullest. FUN!

Sometimes I guess I have been way too nice till I see my friends are taking advantages of me. Thanks for the treats, friends.

Excuse me for my sarcastim but let the sarcastim take its role and play on.

Doesnt mean being nice, giving and some sweetness to you means you could take others on. It's just showing "sweetness" to compromise with you.

17 April 2009
After work, I supposed to meet my cg mates for dinner for Daryl's bday celebration but I didnt went in the end cos I received a call from Ben.

Ben: JO!! Where are you?!
Me: Just end work loh. Why?
Ben: Bran and I want to celebrate your bday first. We go Sahara.
Me: What?! Now?!
Ben: You cant say no. It's a must to go. I dont care.
Me: Ehhh..
Ben: Okay! BYE BYE!! Cya later.
Me: Okay. Okay. Bye.

So after hanging up, I went back home to bath and change and meet them at Sahara. Jack came too. To my surprise, RQ, JJ, Vic, Ben Ee, one more guy (I forgot his name. Oops =X ) came. Well.. We drink and shisha there like crazy. RQ, JJ, Vic, Ee and "unknown" left first. Ben, Bran, Jack and I continued drinking like mad and we also went to the nearby Mac to grab some burgers to eat. Cos Bren and I were having empty stomach before we even starting on our drinks.

Well. Im happy that somehow somewhat someone celebrated my bday. But I wasnt really happy at the end of the day. Cos that faggot Benjamin Yeo got drunk!! Cant you believe it?! DRUNK!! DRUNK LEH!!! How can this be?! He can drink like a camel and he dont get drunk easily but yet last night... Last night.. I drank more than him and yet I wasnt drunk. For the f****** first time, I can only say this is my first time seeing Ben so drunk. I dont know for what sake. I seriously have no idea what has gone up to his brains. Come on!! I swear I will never ever allow anyone to get drunk on my bday celebration again. Okay. Last night, Jack and Bran were high too but the most they are 50%-60% tipsy. But Ben was like 80% dying lah!!! WTH!! Merlion-ing like free loh!!

We hailed a cab. Bran, Ben and I got onto the same cab and Jack's on another. On our way home, I was damn pissed in the cab abt him, blathering non-stop abt.... Sigh.. If you're so painful being in love then forget abt it lah.. Thank you for rattling so much. I just dont understand what's wrong with you. When you used to tell so much and sayang me when I was down. Use it on yourself to make yourself once again to be able to stand up on your feet. I dont like to see the weak Ben Yeo. Well. I seriously bear the whole entire ride cos probably Ben is really in his lowest point of time. I sent him to his house and slept over at his place to take care of him and clean up his shoes. When I was in his room and he told me- "Jo, do you know how much I love Fiona? I love her very much. Very." And I repiled him unknowingly, "Just be glad that at least you cherish her. So what even if you get the status for the sake of it, the main point is- Have you really cherish her all these times? That is the best thing you can ever own."

Well. After recalling that I said to him, he allowed me to understand something at the end of the day. And I finally realised my real mistake in the past. I never really use to cherish what I used to have/own before. I lose what I lost. Is okay. Is just another part of learning in life, you make mistake and you will grow from it. At least, I can say- Im keeping my real live movie abt my life nicely in my memories. Sweet. Thks Fr Th Mmrs. =)

15 April 2009
Hahhaha. Silly me. I went to ask my dad to find me another baby durian from his working area cos I want to see whether does baby durian will have fruits inside. And indeed there are fruits in there.. Look carefully and enjoy. It dont smell like durian at such young age. It smell a little like mango skin.

16 April 2009
Yeah. I went to do a customised name card holder. Crazy me but well... I love it!!

Yes. Of cos, I didnt do it for fun and to waste money.. Is actually to insert my name card is that lovely holder of mine.

17 April 2009
I went to help up at Mr Kenny's class. It was fun. He got his students blind folded and what they need to do is to build a tent while blind fold in on!!! Hahha. It was fun! I heard that last year, my class did that too but cos I was sick that day. Sob sob. I missed the fun!! =(

The first tent to be up!!! Very fast. Amazing. Most of my arts classmates are in there.









The upcoming one... Christinananana's group..

The 3rd one.... Angeline's group.

And there is one more group.... But I cant seem to load it up. But well... Mr Kenny's class is always fun and inspiring. My only cool, fun and great principal and boss that I can ever have in my life. =)

I hope that Dan Dan is back over the weekends.

6 more days to my birthday...

Well.. I have no idea why I dont like my birthday. I do know why but every year, it is just heart breaking for me to live by that "special day" of mine. I wished I can love my birth day like how almost everyone does. I probably have posted this similar kinda post whenever my birthday is coming. Im on my chair right now; feeling so upset. Yeah, it just another random mood swing that Im having right now.

In 2006, I posted this, "Somehow Im not very happy today. I almost cried when I cut the cake but I told myself to be strong. Not coz I feel touched loh. But just somehow I feel something is missing inside my heart. And finally after 9 yrs, my family celebrated it for me again. But....."

I just cant forget the moment of my pain, my hurt, my bad memories on my 5th birthday. I can never forget. Why?! How to? I have no idea. Im trying to let go and I still cant do it. I dont understand why I have to go through this craps. Imagine you got a slap on your 5th birthday just cos you wanted to blow the candles by all yourself. What's wrong, right? Yes. I got a slap by my mum when I whined. My brother blew all my candles when it was my birthday, so I kept whining to my dad abt my bro blew all the candles and kept asking can we do it all over again but somehow he didnt response to me. Then the next moment I knew... Is I got one tight slap on my face by mum. I just cried. All I know is I cried and cried like a water tap. My dad and Godma tried coaxing me but they failed.

Yeah. The next following year, my parents stopped celebrating my birthday. As well as my bro's. So to make it fair. Well. It was my mum's idea. My parents just came up with nonsensical explanation and excuses throughout all these years.

For example:
1) It's not good to celebrate every year cos you will look very old even before you hit 30.
2) Birthday is nothing. Is just birth day. Nothing's special.
3) What birthday? Waste money.
4) Why do you like birthday so much? You can do that when you're 21.
5) Since you love celebrating birthday. Next time, when you get married, get your husband to do it for you lah. (APA?!)
6) Both of us (which is my parents) also never celebrate our birthday, why do you want to celebrate yours?

Sigh. What is wrong with celebrating birthday? Yeah. Year after another I get more and more disappointed in life abt my bday. I even start to choose to forget my birthday at the age of 9. But surprisingly that year, my dad remembered my birthday and wished me happy birthday. Yes. As I grew older, my parents do bao angbao for me. It's 20 bucks every year. But all I want is a celebration.

What I dont understand is why they never fail to remember my bro's bday and they always forget mine and the best part is they want me to remind them abt my bday. Best lah, best lah. In 2005, my parents celebrated my bro's bday and invited a few of my cousins and aunties to come over to my place. When my birthday was appoaching, I asked for bday celebration and they said...

Parents: For what?!
Me: Cos you both did it for bro's and why cant I?
Parents: Since when we did for bro's? Since when our relatives came over to celebrate on bro's bday.
Me: WHAT THE HELL?! You both just did it one month back and have forgotten abt it?! Ask bro lah.
Bro: Just kept quiet and didnt say anything.
Parents: Rubbish. You must be dreaming all these while.

That's the "best thing", I ever received on my bday. That is why in 2006, they tried amending me back by celebrating my bday and which I totally felt nothing abt it. I waited for 9 years. 9 years. 9 years!! Imagine the pain that I had held on for 9 years. Sigh. Oh well... =(

At least, I remembered theirs every year and wished them happy bday and also get some small gifts. And my bro dont even do that. Oh wellsss... Im just upset that my birthday can be easily forgotten by them. But somehow, I thank that there is still a bit of satisfaction about... My three sweet birthday celebration that I ever had.

1) 6th bday by my Godma.
2) 16th bday by the old C1(PHS) Connect Group.
3) 17th bday by Jiejie, her few classmates and Miss Selena, Pamela and Qing De.

I been pondering too much on my pains, hurts and bad memories of my bday. At times I just feel so relucted to celebrate my birthday cos I dont know who will be celebrating my bday next. Im always feeling that my friends seem to be quite relucted to celebrate my bday. Probably Im just feeling insecure for this. Yes.

This year, I have 3 appointment already. =)
1) Primary School mates on this coming sunday. (At Marché)
2) Jiejie on my birthday.
Jiejie and I are celebrating our bday tgt. Her bday is on 23rd but well... She got dance lesson and her only free day is tues. We planned to go eat zi cha.
3) My company, CHEC- All my colleagues. (Eat western food and present too.)

I realised this year- It's a food theme!! Lol. Just let all these celebration to be so great that I will forget my bad memories.

Yes. To me, bday is very important. Last year was the year that I dont not want to celebrate my bday badly. I was so affected in the beginning of 2008 by my bad memories of all these years of bday celebration and I also began to feel so relucted to celebrate my friends' bday. Im sorry to whoever I've wrote bday msg to you or celebrate bday for you. Yes, I didnt do it with my heart. Pls do understand my position. I know I didnt do a good job cos I was emotionally and mentally down esp to Pamela's bday. I know you had high expectation for me to do a big one for you but I ended up did a crap for you. Im so sorry that I allowed my emotions to over take everything.

Yes. I think my gastric problem is acting up again because I can start to feel the irritation and pain in my stomach which I used to feel last year when started to puke whatever I take in . Oh wellss..... Im going to bed now. Need rest... A good rest. Nights.