I'm almost getting my project done for the real drafting. I'm loving my job- my business. I guess I just learned a lot of things for these passed few month especially in CHEC. EC is really a training ground. Sometime things isn't easy to go through. Yeah. And sometimes I kinda sacrificed a lot of not sleeping early but I guess I charged a lot energy during my weekends too.

Well. I'm glad that I'm Joann. I'm happy that things are difficult for me in my life. I'm happy to not to have some people or too many friends in life cos I guess it will just get me so distracted and confused of what I really want. I'm happy that I'm single and have a carefree lifestyle; it just get me so stable and focus of what I really wanna do. I no longer can imagine my life involving- taking care of friends, family, loved ones or whatever craps. I need to take care of myself. I used to "sacrifice" so much and forgotten to love myself and now it led me to bitterness. I need to get rid of my bitterness by loving myself, spending time alone and find what I really love. Don't get me wrong, I still love my friends, family etc but just that I feel that they need to step up to their level to take care of themselves. Everyone can live alone by themselves. You don't really need anyone, you can do just fine all by yourself. Having one another is making and helping things to get easier.

Yes, I can't deny that I'll come to a point of loneliness but I'm doing just fine. Why am I like that? I want to be able to love myself before I can love others. Cos for me, loving others is easy. Thus, it has been in me all along and it won't disappear. Big problem for me is that I can't love myself. Once I get this right, I will love others once again. I'm secured about myself (of cos not 100%), that why I don't need anyone right now to add colour my life. Alley and I have been out to town, working and we been seeing everyone involving into boy/ girl relationship and he turned to me and said, "We're really missing out heh?" Oh well. Maybe, maybe not. I have no ideas. I've seen too much failure relationships and it get me 99.99% of NO interest into all these nonsense.

Ask yourself few questions about boy/ girl relationship.
- Do you have the commitment?
- Do you really know the true meaning of commitment?
- Can you stay faithful in these lustful & sinful world?
- Why do you want/ need to get another one?
- Can you predict the future when you have your one?
- Can you be financially doing well?

Oh well. Whatever to anything and any craps! I guess I can't fit in any shit of the list above cos I can't give my 100% to anything. Why? Cos I don't believe in not hurting anyone, so to prevent all these hurtings, I won't love anyone. Loving someone is = to hurting someone. I'm gonna end here.

Anyway I'm happy that I found a phone today and I returned it to the owner. I believe returning it to the owner than having it myself. I can't imagine myself not returning it. Cos I want my lost items* to be returned to me too.

When you're in love, love will become illogical- You will and can do anything for love.