Yes. My so called "Jiejie". Her name is Shiyu aka Sherry or Sy. Dont ask me why I called her jiejie. I guess I just happened to call her that for some certain reason. I respect her and I love her. I wish I could treat her better than anyone and anything else. At times, I really feel upset for not loving her the way I should. I really want to but I cant have that breakthrough to love her the way I always do for other closer friends. Maybe cos my "closer friends" hurt me too much.

Ai. I hope that I can heal my heart asap for her. I just really want to invest my love in her. Just hope that I can move on with this craps faster. I have no idea what's wrong with me lah. Bloody shit to myself. Damn it. I knn lah. I hong gan la. I dulan lah. Aiya. NABEI to myself lah. Bloody fool. Why must I beat myself for very craps that I did and didnt. Damn angry and pissed lah.

Im glad that I told Sy about all these abt me wanting to love her as much as she love me etc... She understood how I felt and she replied me, "I dont ask anything for return and I know you're good to me." I just felt relieved abt she being so secured abt my friendship with her. Not much people are able to have that thinking. Im seriously happy to have her. Sometimes I come to a point of being so worried to lose her one day. I guess if that day happen, I really wont want to do anything in life for a time being till I get over with it. I dont know how will I react if I lose her. I guess I will pretend that everything's alright. I will force myself not to think too much and which is like kinda.... Impossible? Well. Im glad that she's still alive after her accident last year. I cant imagine if I've just lost her to that stupid bus driver who knocked her down! Oh wells... The funny thing is the bus also very chui after knocking her down. I think her body made of diamond lah. Her bone is as strong as diamond hor. Dont play play!!

Yeah. Do I ever dislike her? Maybe and maybe not. I've no idea. I guess only when she used to be very rash to me like for a period of time. Which is damn scary. I do feel like... At times she wants things to be her way but somehow I begin to understand why. Im not compromising her but really begin to understand where she's at and what she really mean.

Ciao. I just want to post abt her and nothing much more. I guess I just want to leave an "announcement" abt wanting to love her.

I love you.