A Dream
that bothers me so much.

The night before, a sudden thought came into my mind- What if I die one day when I'm sleeping? I didn’t have any ideas for that question. Why did my mind asked me such a question? I have no idea.

Only this morning, I had a long dream before I woke up. I can’t really recall what actually had happened. I remembered that I was driven to a dead end of a long wooden bridge at the sea. There were many men in black surrounding me and a man in black with his sunglasses on (he seem to be the boss) was leading the way and guiding me thru out my way to the end of the wooden bridge. We stopped there. Me, being clueless, wondering what’s wrong and the next thing, I knew was that I was trapped and betrayed to be where I’m at and where I’m standing right now.

A conversation that I had with the “Boss”
Boss: Kill her right now!”
Me: Why and what have I done?
Boss: Nothing.
Me: Then why do I deserve to be killed?
Boss: I give you a chance. Either my men shoot you down or you do it yourself.
Me: Alright. I will choose to do it myself.

I was holding the gun in my right hand, thinking to pull the trigger but I didn’t have any ideas where to place it at. My head or my heart? As I was thinking, I kept buying time, so to keep myself alive. My heart was pounding- real fast. I couldn’t get my mind thinking to have an escape plan. I kept thinking and thinking till a point I asked myself – “Where will I go if I pull the trigger? Heaven or hell?” The funny thing is I know that I’m in my dream. For my first time, I felt that this dream is not just any other ordinary dream that I always have. I was really wondering will I die on the spot in my bed when I pull this trigger. This is end of my destiny? Is my life going to be vanished now? How can this be? I paused for long.

The boss shouted at me.
Boss: HEY! Do you want to kill yourself? Can you do it quick? If you don’t want to die right now, I will let you go.
Me: Oh. Are you serious? Then what was your motive for bringing me here?
Boss: Well. I don’t know. I was given the order to kill you.
Me: Thanks for letting me go. =)
Boss: We’re making our move now. *threw me an ATM card* Probably you will get what it mean.
Me: Thanks. Bye.

I went on to check the amount of the ATM card and it was credited with $33, 314 and it wasn't for me, it was actually for that boss but what is he trying to tell me? I seriously don’t know what it means. It does bother me right now because I can’t get what it supposedly to be meant. And what if I pulled trigger, will I be dead right now? Will I be in heaven or hell? What is $33, 314? Is that a symbolic or something else?

I’m very sorry for those who are reading my post; I know you guys don’t get what I’m trying to say in this post and it is really confusing for you to be in my shoes to understand me right now. Every dream that I had, it runs a weight (meaning) in my mind. For me, dreams are not just dreams. It happened for a reason; just like everything happened for a reason. I always believe that there is someone up there with high authority that is trying to tell me something. I know it sound floaty-whoosy (do you spelled it that way?) but I isn’t joking.

I think Alistair will know what I mean, right? Cos you know most of my dreams and instincts come true. Not really exactly come true but it just... Aiya. I dont know how to explain lah. Even Alis finds it amazing too. So it's not just something that it is easy to be expressed with words.

Well. To think abt it again, why didn't I dare to pull the trigger? What will happen if I pulled it? The only thing, I know the truth abt myself right now- is that I cant bear to leave this place without completing My Destiny- My future, My plans, My hope, My dreams and My life. Thank You for the dreams.