I've been busy clearing my work. I guess I can't wait to get over and done with my job and prepare for school. Well.. Although I've been quite busy these few weeks, I'm glad I tried dig out a lot of time for my friends to spend time with me. My mind has been quite messy, need to clear some thoughts but I'm glad that I still stay strong as usual. =)

I went out with Xiaoli yesterday.. She's been thinking of what to get for my birthday. I told her I want a watch!! And I really do!

Is either a......

Adidas Originals Metal Square Watch

OR

Fossil Jake Black Dial

The price is a killer too! Hahahaha. She's trying to find ideas to come out with the cash together with Ben, Fiona & Celeste!

Well.. I hope they can get me the Adidas though I really want to have an analog watch.

_______________________________________________________

FINAALLLLYY..... Met up with The-Re today!!!!!! I'm so happy to see her.. Kicking & living!! Kidding. Yeah! Managed to spend some good time with her, gonna meet her up again on thursday to visit Adrian's shop. =) She also accompanied me to my job interview. My job interview seems quite good. Hope I get the job because... The pay is very appealing and also I can save up tons of money for my future plans.

I'm beginning to save money! Like.. Really down to earth, slowly bit by bit (rather than bigger portion when in the end, I will "accidentally" spend it). It just reminded me of when I was much younger, came back home with my remaining pocket money and drop it all in my piggy bank. Heehee.. Precious moment of me! Well.... My 2 small tins piggy bank are going to get filled up soon. I just can't wait to see how much I have saved!!! I just bought another 4 bigger tins yesterday with Xiaoli at Daiso. I also encouraged her to save bit by bit and she bought herself 2 tins! I'm HAPPY for her! =) Gold tin for $1 coin, Silver tin for all silver coins! WHEE~

Marriage Vow?

I was thinking about...

The Marriage Vow

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

I guess for now.. I cannot image myself saying this vow. Why?! Because I can't even take care of my parents and what make me feel that I can do that for my spouse? Need to question myself all over again. What about you?

31 more days to S-C-H-O-O-L!

I'm feeling very anxious for school. I just can't wait and I just got myself a new pair of running shoes for PE lesson and also wanting to go to gym. =) Wanna train my arm strength!!! Well.. Time to have new friends, new environment, new part time job, new challenges in life, new dreams etc.. Feeling so youthful now.. I guess is pretty much a different feeling because.. I'm learning how to be more independent on my own. Oh! I'm so glad that I don't have to pay my school fee in cash because... I can use edusave. Well... I'm glad that I won a lot of awards last time when I was in primary & secondary school days and of cos, not forgetting my parents also had pump some money for me when I was in government school. So happy that I can save money for other plans.

The past 2 months, I have a lot of things in my mind.. SIGH!!! I need to find alternative to solve my problems!

Drive.. Driving.. Drove.. Driven.. =)

WAH SEH!! I just so pissed today.

First... My handphone failed on me. Only can sms now.. Yes... Can receive calls but can't hear clearly whoever is talking to me on the phone.

Secondly, it was when I was having my driving lesson today. Then this silly nissan car suddenly speed up so fast from the back, cut into my lane (I couldn't see him already cos is blocked by a certain angle by my car) when I was about to change lane (some more my car's body was already half way into the middle lane) And I almost bang into him sia. So heng that I reacted fast enough. If not.... *BANG* AMBULANCE! One more... This stupid 'P' plate driver hor... Wah!! Felt like slapping him loh. People first time do U-turn, right? Then will bound to be slow, right? And some more, traffic light just turned green (less than 1 sec), right?! THEN HE KEPT HORNING ME NON STOP!!!!! $@)(%)(@*$_!)(#

Thirdly, I've planned to skip english lesson for my mum's bday and sms my dad, to ask him to pick me up at SSDC after my lesson. When I was done with my lesson, I called him and asked him.. Where he was. Then he said... "Aiya. Not celebrating already lah. Since you're not interested to celebrate then celebrate for what?" NABEI!!!! I hang up the phone and went for my english lesson in the end.

Later on... I got home at 10.30pm. I found out that is my mum who didn't really want to celebrate because she's not feeling well. =/ Speeeeechhhlessss...

YOU'RE WELCOME, TRACEY!!!!

=)

I AM ACCEPTED!!!

getting ready to go to school soon!!!

I just came from interview at ITE MacPherson. Well... It was pretty fun. I managed to know 2 new friends- Vivian & Farhan. LOL! Of course, I was the one who broke the ice.. We kinda click quite well... So 3 of us were so dumb.. As one of the teacher told us to wait here.. But in the end, we found out that is the wrong course, he was refering to.. So yeah.. We went up to level 3 to the auditorium to take our drawing test. We had our colour blindness test etc... The test begin..

Section 1:

Given a piece of paper with cartoon characters. Pick 2 to draw.

My Character 1

My Character 2

Section 2:

This section is to showcase the drawing style that you are familiar with and your ability to visualize. You may draw whatever you like. Cartoon or managa/anime drawings are accepted.

And... I drew the side of the campus's auditorium where I was sat there. =)

Section 3:

Qn: "This section is to test your ability to communicate by visual means and flair in creative expression. 1) Given below is an expression in line. 2) Develop it further into something visually exciting, using colours, lines and shapes...

This is my favourite part of the test.... AND... I DREW A DINOSAUR!!! T-REX!! =) It was really fun! I enjoyed the whole process.

ITE will call me later in the afternoon whether am I accept a not... I really hope that everything will run smoothly now...

Yeah! I got into the course that I applied for. =) Digital Animation. I took an urgent leave from work today for tomorrow's interview. I'm prepared for the interview... Just feeling a little nervous now. But I'm fine.

Well.. I'm pretty exhausted about life. Not that life sucks.. Just tired of growing up so fast at times. Felt like it would be nice if things "supposedly" to be the way it is. There are so many things, I haven't get a chance to express. Well.. I guess I really been living in my "darkness" for the longest time.. Knew that I may snap sooner or later but still trying to bear with it. Maybe because I know it may not be the best solution after all. Hopefully by this week, I will clear out everything in my heart and on my mind for the longest time. =)

I cannot understand why am I.... So nice. I just feel like giving up on being nice. Not that I do not have a temper. I just do not want to show the frustration side of me. It'll ruin my day and everyone's.

Somehow I'm feeling very discouraged.. Well.. I didn't give up. I went on to find my own encouragement.. So that I can move on from where I'm standing on. =) Jo... Dark cloud will soon be over.. =)

I've lost my mind!

Sometimes.. I lose motivation.

Sometimes.. I lose passion.

Sometimes.. I am becoming very selfish.

Sometimes.. I just have to do what I have to do.

Sometimes.. Is not about having it.

Sometimes.. Is not just believing.

Sometimes.. I guess I deserved it.

Sometimes.. I am truly sorry.

Sometimes.. I wish I could stop that.

Sometimes.. I wish you would know my reasons.

Sometimes.. I thought it would be nice.

Sometimes.. I thought it was the best solution.

Sometimes.. I guess I did not have to do that.

Sometimes.. I should have learn how to control.

Sometimes.. I stuck inside my heart when I do not let things out.

Sometimes.. I just want to test you.

Sometimes.. I failed you.

Sometimes.. I cheered you up.

Sometimes.. I wish you can understand me.

Sometimes.. I miss you.

Sometimes.. I guess you never fail to be on my mind.

Sometimes.. I guess I still have little room for you.

Sometimes.. I given up all hopes.

Sometimes.. I just want to walk beside with you.

Sometimes.. I just want to hear you out.

Sometimes.. I just want things to be the way it meant to be.

Sometimes.. I can never understand what was with you and all these things about.

Sometimes.. Your smile brighten up my day.

Sometimes.. Your presence can strengthen me.

Sometimes.. I noticed I love staring at you at distance.

Sometimes.. I know you were trying to cheer me up.

Sometimes.. I keep quiet.

Sometimes.. I am loud.

Sometimes.. I am emotional.

Sometimes.. I am straightforward.

Sometimes.. I can be very hurting.

Sometimes.. I can be very caring.

Sometimes.. I will take responsibilities the way I need it.

Sometimes.. I am determined to do what it suppose to be.

Well.. Sometimes.. Things/people/loved ones have to come and go. That's why, never take that part of your life too serious because it/they can be very dangerous.

My throat is still sore-ing! LOL! Cough till my whole body ache sia.. Sigh.. I really no idea on how should I move on now...

I'm having very bad sore throat now.. Can't really speak. I think this is the worst sore throat I ever had in my whole life. Plus on top of that, I had high fever on and off for 2 days. I have no idea why I fell so sick. For the longest time, I haven't had any fever and sore throat. But now.. I guess I have to take extra care of myself. I need to stay strong and healthy to live on and fulfill my dreams and goals. Nobody can stop me. I just need to listen to my heart and mind for the next move. =)

Everything seem to be so sweet in the beginning with my parents but whenever come to education, I just dislike them, make me feel so angry. I do not know I love or dislike them. I just no longer really want to figure that out...

Anyway things didn't turn out the way I planned. After the O level results was released, I quickly went online to apply the course I want in ITE... They did not show the course which I can selected and I decided to call the Headquarter... You know what? They told me they are not opening up the course. What the..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They also do not know why..... In the first place, why did you posted up on your bloody website for? Give a person a hope and a goal to aim for and now.... TOTALLY DESTROY IT IN THE PERSON'S FACE!!! Arghhhhh!!! Well.... I went on to sign up for digital animation and product design first. I also wrote into NAFA to check whether can they accept me for my "special case".

I'm stuck. I don't feel like talking about it... Sigh.. I'll stay strong. Just feeling upset for time being..

Sometimes... Nothing can compared to the pain that your parents gave.

Well.. Am I that useless? I've no idea. I know what I want for my future. I know what I need to do to get my future. Till today, my parents still don't get me. This morning, my dad finally admitted that he have the money for me to study but he said he have no confidence in me because he don't think I'll do well for my studies and what's the point of paying for me. Yeah. Probably I've disappointed him when I was back then in EC. But what can I do now? Return back to future? I can't. He don't even want me to go to ITE. Since he don't want to pay for my education then what's the matter to him anyway even if I want to go ITE. I never even once thought or want to go ITE but is just that now.. I don't have the choice, I have no funds. I don't want to be stuck at my level forever. If I do have the funds, then why did I even choose to work over studies... That is like purely stupid!!

So now what?! What can I do?! Probably just watch me. If I fail, I will admit to my fate. If I succeed, don't come bootlicking me... Same goes for everyone. To think about it again, at times... I felt that I really make a mistake to go to EC because if not, I won't be so "stuck" here. But again... If back then, I make my way to ITE to the course that I didn't like.. I could be where I am again. Right now.. I really hope that I can get into the course that I want. Do it well and probably get into poly, if possible I wish that I can get some scholarship and don't have to rely on my parents.

2 days back, I was talking to AL on the phone and he offered some "good stuff". After listening to him, I really feel so blessed to have him as my friend; an extremely good friend. How to get a friend like him? Of cos, on my side, I have to work hard to show him and do a good job together when we launch our company in 2 years time. =)

WHEEEEE~ I've completed BIOSHOCK!!! FUN!!!

I'm totally so addicted to Bioshock right now. Almost every night when I come back from work, I'll PLAY!!! I guess AL is right. First, it was Call of Duty 4 and now Bioshock... I've become a computer game addict. Oh yeah! Well... I seldom play computer games.. So probably just smack it all for once! =)

I'm doing planning for my 2010. Just kinda feeling nervous for school. Though the application is not open yet, I seem getting all ready for it. Oh well.. I hope I can get in, hope that things will go the way I planned. Another thing is getting a part time job. At least $6-7/hr cos I need to save up for school, to return money to my bro for my laptop and driving license. Right now... I'm chiong-ing my license. I don't have much money to do it but my bro wants to loan me first. Nice right? Aye. My parents ain't wanting to loan me. NEVERMIND!

I want to study very hard once I get into the course I want, ain't going to waste time no more. I'm gonna excel from there, if I make it big. The first thing, I'll ever do is..... INVEST MY MONEY WISELY! One of my goals is to earn at least half a million when I hit 25. I don't know will I succeed a not but I can try. So... I have about 5 years to do that. =) Sound good heh? I think so too. LOL!

My right ear got infection again! Ultimate pain! Sigh.. Letting it heal right now, paying full attention to it. Hoping that it will recover asap.

Ahhh~ It's a brand new year again! Well... I didn't celebrate it, just felt.. Ehh.. Maybe no hweeling to do it for this year.

I have 4 new year's resolutions.

1) Driving License

2) To further my skills in photoshop, illustrator and flash.

3) To be able at the end of the year save about $800-$1000 (if schooling) or $1800-$2400 (Working).

4) If I'm schooling.. Of cos is studies very good!! If not, motorbike license!

CHEERS, EVERYONE!! I'm heading to Bioshock now.

HOLY CRAPS!! This morning, Irene sms me and told me they are back from New York. The reason they went there because Sunni intended to relocate there. MAD PEOPLE ON EARTH! Speechless but I'm glad that they are back.

Sometimes life is disgusting.. Well.. I'm not talking about my life. Generally I just felt very disgusted with people who don't work hard but want money to come in hand so easily. Yes, we have our lazy moments but I don't think it should be a long period kinda moment. Well.. My generation people are just very spoilt.. Including me. Cos now.. I have the habit of wanting my dad to pick me up after work.. So to save money on transportation.

I guess my generation really "abused" our parents too much. Right now, my parents are making me feeling.. Life is getting tougher as you grow older. The worse part is when you started to earn your own money, they really kinda washed their hands off from you.. To make you learn how to survive. I really appreciated their "plans" but again... Still.. Sometimes... I really wanna give up. There are two things that motivate me to go on are when I see most of my friends are still relying on their parents for a living.. It's just make me stronger in a way. Secondly, I have Jie & AL to motivate me; AL is rich but he don't rely on his parents which most of the rich kids are not like that anymore. The best is Jie have already build a strong foundation that even if she don't have her dad to support her, she still can live and much better than what her dad can provide her. I really admire them very much. So I always tell myself not to rely on my parents so much. Yes, there are many times I need my parents' help but maybe they know that I can pull through.. So they make it tougher for me.

I'm really tired somehow.. But I know I can pull this through and it will make me stronger. I must enjoy this process; suffer now and enjoy it later in life. =)