A little update of myself.

Yes. I been working for almost 2 months. I can only say Im really good, I love working at chec. I cant explain why but it is just so good. I can really feel that Im happier working than studying. Not that I dont love studying but I want to study what I love.

Miss Dawn and I had a conversation last friday.

Miss Dawn: Jo, do you know you're a living example to my students now?

Me: Huh? Why?

Miss Dawn: You showed something to others that sometime you don't have to have a cert to get hired to work.

Me: Really? =)

Miss Dawn: Don't feel that you're happier working here than studying?

Me: Yea! Somehow I do really feel happier.

Miss Dawn: Do you know why?

Me: *scratch head* Why?

Miss Dawn: It is because you're doing something that you're strong at and no longer doing something that you're weak at. And it's all abt character too.

Me: Woah!! Really?! =)

Blah blah... Conversation going on..

Yea. It is amazing. I dont know whether I have character a not. How do you judge that, see that and acknowledge that? No idea. I cant change overnight. Im human after all. I do have my flaws. I love to spend quiet time with myself. It just make me think deeper for my future. I dont want to screw my life and my future. I want to study. I want to get a master degree for visual communication. I cant wait, I dont know why. I cant wait to start my business. Ben and I are planning to come up with our ideas and proposal to our "sleeping" partner to get grants to kick off our business. I need to have my business to pay for my education in 2 years time.

I no longer have bad migraine as bad before. Thank you to those who been caring and worrying for me. Thank you. Im really fine now. Im trying to get more sleep nowadays and it does helps me.

I supposedly to have my personal bedroom but my mum broke her promise. Nevermind. Drop that topic. Ben told me that he want to tattoo my chinese name on his right top inner arm. Oh my tian. I dont know why, k? But well... I also going to tattoo the barcode of xl and ben's name. But Im thinking to change the design but Im down on cash. Seriously broke. Saving up for my mac, getting it next month. Im so so so happy.

I been thinking alot abt friendship lately. I dont know. I cant come out with any conclusion abt anything. Im feeling a little heartache abt everything at times. I have these 3 friends in my life that left me. In fact, there are more friends but it never brought so much pain to my heart to deal with. I took 2 years, 1 year and a half and 6 months to get rid of all the pain that I had for them. It seem like it got shorter as it goes. Too tired to deal with? Well. Somehow yes. Removing them in my life was tiring and painful but I still have to move on and get better with it.. A 1 year and half friend came back recently and off my friend went... I really have no idea what my friend is thinking. It's just complicated. I had been waiting but my friend left again. Well. I cant control my friend; it's my friend's life anyway. Maybe everyone in this world are selfish. Only care for their own feelings. Nevermind. Let's move on. I just hope and I pray that I wont have to lose Ben and Xl. I cant to bear them.

Somehow or rather, this season of my life is so weird. I can feel that I no longer can or love anyone for now. That including my L.O.V.E.S. Im sorry. I didnt meant things to be this way. Im still spending time with them but just cant love as much as before. I can feel that Im numb to a certain extend. May my numbness soon be melt away.

Im so glad that someone fill up my stomach with breakfast almost every morning. That is my "Jie", she been very nice to me recently, been buying breakfast for me to eat. She know that I dont have any money and she just kept blessing me. Thank you very much. You touched my heart. =)

There are many things to deal with in my heart, my mind and my life. I have to let go of my pride.