i cut this hairstyle myself. no much people believe me. ha. but really is me. no kidding. what u guyz think? no good then say no good. coz i want to improve my skill. lol.

Today, my connect group and my CG leaders went to eat SUSHI.. Yummy. Hee. And we gave a little a surprise for OUR....

.........SPIRITUAL MUMMY!!!
HER NAME IS YVONNE CHEONG!!!
and we called her SISTER YVONNE or SIS VON.








And most of all we LOVE her!!! Haha.
From all her SPIRITUAL CHILDREN (C1 connect group).



And we also wish all mothers in the world a HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!

Hello!!!! Guess where and what I did yesterday??! I went to NUH to donate BLOOD!!! Woohoo!! And who know I love to do that and have been waiting for this day?! Hee. I turned 16yrs old last month and I went online to find the parental consent form for blood donation and my parents was very supportive and encourage me to go. Cool!!! And yesterday I went with 2 of my classmates coz we got nothing better to do but to save lives!!! Woohoo!! Amen!!


PICTURES:




That's was my temperature!!! Hahaha.








Whee!!! Here I go!!! Lalalalala.... It doesnt hurt at all. I guarantee to you..









It only took about 5-6 mins and one pack of my blood is ready to save lives!!!










After 10mins of rest... The nurse served me a cup of milo and some biscuit. Oh ya.. You all must be wondering where are my 2 classmates, right?? And.........








Here they are.. Oh man. They cant donate. Coz the 1 on the left has low blood and the 1 on the right got not enough iron in her body and nurse called her to buy iron tablet to eat. Probably the next time round then. Smile!!!







Heehee.. So guyz, I really wanna encourage you all to go and donate blood. Is really a 100% painless process. Seriously!! Even though I love all needles thingy but when I went reach there, I really wanna walk out the place coz the needles is super scary.. Hee. But I told myself that I want to help others that are in need of blood. And when I was "ready" and the nurse juz injected the needle in my right arm...... I was like CHEY!!! haha.. xiao case. Hee. But really arh.. In Singapore, there is only 1% of consistence people who donate blood. So you see?! ONLY 1%!!!!So help others now!! And who know one day, you might even need others to help you too!!

Hahaha.. Today's papers for maths. I really gonna.... er... But CPA is quite easy. Mmm.. Juz now when I was on my way home in the bus. I saw one of my neighbours. She's really very nice and she's a professional tutor. She told me her testiomony etc.. And she encouraged me by telling me about her students' studies. And which is what I recently prayed to God about. I told God that I want to hear lot and lot of testimonies about how students got back on their feet to study and have faith to score well and glorify You. And today, my neighbour shared abit to me. But somehow, I feel I have not heard enough. And she told me that her friends used to test her by asking, "How come that person is christian and yet dont behave well and he/she called he/she's a christian?!!" Then she said, "Yah, but well he/she's not a born-again Christian." And do you know what she mean??! She mean that most people called themselves a christian and yet they are those 2 faced people in church and outside church, and born-again christian are those who have integrity, put God first in everything etc... And how many people can call themselves a born-again christian??!! And she said," No much people will say that." But she claimed herself as a born-again christian. I was like WOW. You know what??!! She used to earn alot of money when she sell insurance and she really sell it very well etc.. But she said she feel that after doing that job she dont have much time for God and decided to quit the job and go into teaching students and she's really did a great job in her teachings and most of her students are now having a master degree etc.. That's so cool. Wow. Till now I dont know what's her name. Haha. Nevermind. The next time, I see her then I will ask her.

*Arghhh* Today's my exam papers are so difficult!!!!!!!!! I got no faith for my papers liao...!!!!! and recently my hair has been dropping!!!! when i wake up in the morning and i looked at my pillow then is like super alot of my hair lahhh.... Arghh.. I need BEIJING 101!!!! kidding. im so scared but dont know why.. first time really feel so scared... er... actually not really first time lah.. this is the second time coz the first time was my primary 6 PSLE. I hope everything gonna be alright...

Hahaha.. Just now when I was on my way home. I helped an old lady to carry her heavy stuffs across the road to her block which is also my block la.. lol. I feel so happy right now!! lalala...

ArgHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHH!!!!!!!! EXAMS IS AROUND THE CORNER!!!!!!!!! Im so nErvOusSss and STRESSSSSSSSSssss............ Sob Sob... Im scare too.. OH man... Im gonna cry!!!!!! And probably I will not update my blog so often already... Im really really very very scare, nervous and stress... Coz I gonna need to study like crRRrazyyyyyy......... Im going nuts about it...

woah.. my birthday has juz passed. And the day before my birthday, I was super down. Juz some things had happened at home and I stayed up the whole day and think. But somehow I fell asleep at 5am and woke up at 6am to go to school. Though now I kinda tired, but couldnt get on to bed. And yes, this year my parents finally celebrated my birthday for me but I dont feel happy and make me think alot of things that are in the past. I wanna be strong, but somehow there's alot of missing pieces of a broken heart that I wanna find and to fix it back but I cant find it. I grew up so much.. But yet, so many things are still keeping me in the dark and recently I got to know some of it. And now I really understand why my mum left so many scars in my heart and my memories during my childhood days. I think I really completely forgive her in my heart. I dont blame her for alot of things now.

Ha. These are the presents that I have received from my cellmates and cell leader. I really wanna thank you guys for all the love and the effort that you all put in. Especially Chenxi and Weiling, you girls did a great job for the video clip. I really love it. And one of the presents in there is from my dad. Guess which one. Lol. And anyway that green t-shirt you guyz gave, is the first colour I got in my cupboard now. I always wanted to buy green t-shirt but ended up buying some other colours. lol.


See?!! The green t-shirt is in there. Lol. Mmm.. Got alot of clothings in there, right??? Ha. But some of the clothings doesnt belong to mine and some are my collections. lol. Let me count.. 12 doesnt belong to mine, 14 are my collections, 23 are mine(including school uniform, P.E. attire etc..) and some of them I dont really wear it already. Im thinking to give it to the charity.

my birthday cake. see?? now my dad also called me JoJo. so weird loh.








Sigh. Somehow Im not very happy today. I almost cried when I cut the cake but I told myself to be strong. Not coz I feel touched loh. But just somehow I feel something is missing inside my heart. And finally after 9 yrs, my family celebrated it for me again. But.....

These are the gifts that I received today(and one of them is from my dad.) And I really wanna thank all my cellmates and cell leader here. I love you guyz for what you have done and all the effort you guyz put in. Ha. Chenxi and Weiling, I super love the video clip that you girls did. Awesome! Ha. And guyz made my day. Anyway the green t-shirt is my very first colour that I have. Coz what I have at home are Black, White, Red, Maroon, Brown, Orange, Navy Blue, Blue, Grey. lolx.




See??! Never bluff you right?? Lol. Mm.. Anyway some clothings are not mine. And some clothings are my collections. I know is kinda dumb, but I like.. Lol. But after all, I think I got alot of clothings in my cupboard. lol

JoJo won 1st in shot put in 2006. woohoo. sorry arh.. too bored le..












And all these are my Primary school to Secondary School trophies. I think I still got few more but I cant seem to find it. Probably my mum threw it away. oops. =X lol.

*ScrEaMmm*
My mummy bought me this book.
Im super happy loh. Ha.









Me and Brenda (gan-mummy). lolx The super duper active girl that who love to tell lame jokes. Buey tahan her sia. Oops =X Kidding. Chilled out!!









This is me and ah-yuan(Yi Yuan). lolx. I missed the outing. Do you, ah-yuan?? haha.

Mm.. I went to polyclinic this morning for my 1st appointment. Wow. It's a very tiring thing to wait for so long. The doctors there are super duper slow. I waited for 1 hr and 30 mins. And it was the different doctor that I see 2 week ago. This doctor got real big attitude problem, coz when she ask me questions and then she like not happy with me loh. I told her the painkiller that the previous doctor gave me is not effective then she said, "Of cuz la.. painkiller is juz nothing. And the problem is you, is juz a muscle-ache thing and which will make you feel pain." (-_-) I feel whacking her up man. Oops. =X Then my mum asked her whether can my daughter(me) go for X-ray then she said, "Can, but nothing is going to scan any problem out(in chinese) Coz is juz a muscle-ache and come back and see me in 2 week times." I was like, "What? Another 2 week?! That's long, man." Then after that I went out of the room, still trying to put a smile on my face and then my mum started to complain to me abt that doctor's attitude and then my mum also feel like slapping her on the face and she told me that, if you got a chance to be doctor, dont be that kind of doctor. Coz nobody will like it. Ha. Then I agreed with her. And after that, I went to the X-ray room to do some X-ray. Ha. It so cool. And this is my first time doing X-ray scanning. And then the nurse is so friendly and then she also brighten my day. And she called me to come back on this coming monday to see the result, then I told her but the doctor called me to come back in 2 week time then she said no need, just come back on monday, it easier and faster. Hee. I felt so happy after leaving that X-ray room. lolx.

Hey yo.. Wow. So long havent been posting my blog. Hahaha. Coz recently I seldom use the computer coz my brother and dad are using for their work. Haha.. You know what?? Mm.. Today my school celebrate Good Friday etc.. And they also encourage all the christians to go to chapel and get together and have Holy Communion. So me, Weiling, Yiyuan and Chenxi as r.n. members went to the chapel to have a look etc.. Mmm.. Is was quite good but is quite a long thingy. And I teared. Haha. Coz it really remind me of Jesus paid so much to die for our sins 2000 yrs ago. And all the tortures thingy He went through touches my heart again and I teared. I love JESUS forever. And I cant wait for Good Friday now. Woohoo. Coz God bought some of my churchmates' and me to heaven in spirit. Yeah! And I wonder what's going to be like for this year.


look at this.. this a huge moth. it was at my classroon outside last tuesday.

Today I didnt go to school, coz of my backbone and now is doubly killing me again. *Argh* sob sob. I think it must be the shot put and high jump or probably I worked out too much of my strength. But anyway I never join high jump, is just I go there and practise for fun. Oh man. Then today, this morning I woke up and when I stepped down from my bed and I can't stand straight properly. I went to tell my dad about it and he called me not to go to school. And now Im sitting in front of my computer, I still got to sit a way that my back is not hurting me. *Grr* Fed up. Sit on floor, on the chair and even sleeping in bed also got problem now. Sigh. Hopefully my back will recover soon. Next week, Im going back to polyclinic to have another appointment with the doctor. I already see two doctors and the two doctors said the same thing and given me the same medicine. Which is one of them is painkiller and it DOESNT HELP LAH... Alamak. Sian. Cant tahan it anymore. If not, I will want to go to hospital and do X-ray. Dont care anymore!! If not is going to take even longer to get heal.

Woohoo!! Today is sport heat again. haha. Once again I won shot put for the year of 2006!!!!! Whee!!! So proud of myself. lol. haha. But..... This year, I... I.... I.... didnt break my last year record. sob sob.. wahh.. This year is 7.39M and last year was 8.02M. How can this be??? oh man.. haha. But Im kinda still happy. lalala.. hee.. wah.. This year is the most funniest shot put competition I ever had. lol. Coz before we start throwing our ball then got one teacher demonstrated for us. Then he.... Alamak. So funny. Not trying to make fun of him here.. Im not that bad. I wont name names here. Firstly he is so fierce, then when he trying to demo that time, he kept calling people to step back more, so that he wont throw at us. Ok. Then i can understand that. So after that we, the participants start to throw then he kept standing at the inside field area that we are throwing at. Then is like super freaky arh.. Coz you also scare that you might hit him or something, right? Then ok arh, no much people throw till so far. Lucky man. Then when is my turn, then my heart started to pump so fast coz I really scared that I might hit him if he really going to be at the same place at the field area. Then that was my very first throw (luckily is juz the free trial throw. so not really counted as first throw yet. pai seh ) is really not so far, coz of that fear which is inside me.. Aiya. Wasted it, man. Maybe my first trial will be also "super duper" far. Muahahaha.. lolx. Haha. When my name was called to throw for my first throw and I went for it, and then I told the teacher to move abit more away then he said, "You dont have to worry. Just throw!!" And I was like oh man!! And then I threw the ball and it landed on the ground and is the distance is.......7.06M!!!! And that teacher said, "Hm. Good." And the ball was quite NEAR him loh.. Lucky him. Hahaha.. Then my second throw, that teacher still stand at the same spot again. OH NO!!! ALAMAK!!! And I said, "TEACHER, can you excuse me for awhile? Could you juz stand further abit more!" And he said, "Im moving la!! I will call you to throw when you are suppose to!"(coz my first throw kinda make him think twice so he move himself away.) Oops. =X haha..!! Finally. Haha. And then he juz move abit hor!!!!!!! haha... ok. I threw it and then guess what??!! Is 7.38M!!!!! Haha. Then he still said the same sentence again. Which is the "Hm. Good." hee. so cute arh.. Then now he also sooo bad loh... I felt so hurt for the rest of the participants coz he said, "For those who never surpass her(which is me) distance then I will not take your record down." Arghh.. Why did he said that??!! Then I start to feel that all the participants are kinda not happy with me sia.. Sigh.. Finally is the last throw of the day but then..... I didnt do quite well for the third throw(coz I never surpass my own record) then he dont wanna record it down. sian.. -_-". Hahaha..

Anyway I continuously won shot put since I was primary 4, 5, 6, secondary 2,3,4. Muahahaha.. (I went into nation before when I was pri 4 but I was out soon coz got so many more are even bigger size and much stronger than me at that time. oh man. ha.) Anyway I didnt win during for my sec 1 is coz of my teacher la.. Coz he never give my class the sign up form to participate. Grrr... Lalalala.. Forget abt it!! ha. I going back to my primary school one of the days to tell my group house teacher. Hahaha. Coz I was once the group house captain when I was primary 6. Haha. I regretted for not doing my best as a leader when I was pri 6. But I did made my teachers proud. Hahah..

Mmm.. This month is April already. Wow.. Times really flies. My birthday is also coming. But this year, Im kinda starting to love my birthday more (probably must be God who trying to change my mindset abt it. Thks, God! ) but still got abit of things that I still cant forget in the past. Sometime I will choose to forget my birthday no matter what coz I dont wanna remember the past years birthday that I had before which hurted me sooo muchhh.... I dont want to say too much details over there about why I hate my birthday. Is so kinda tiring when I talk about it and I also dont know why I will also feel that way. Is like got so much pain and hurt inside me that I cant forget. I tried at times but still cant. Hopefully this year, my birthday gonna be great and awesome. I want a good one this year, so that it can replace all the 10 years of bad birthday that I had. 10 years out of 15 years of my life of bithday that I never been happy. Still waiting for good one. And I know probably some people out there are happy and some may be sad when they come to their birthday. I dont know about you guyz. But you wanna share with me?? or just tell God. Haha. But last year, I did experience some thing that you guyz may not experience in life. But that's quite freaking but I did kinda enjoyed myself. Probably God wanna test me that time. hee. =)

haha. that 's my dad. he's just trying to be "devil". lol. abit childish sia. Oops. =X

woohoo.. just went to cut my fringe myself. hee. heng arh.. At least I know how to cut if not... Ok. Whee. Yesterday Chapel service was good. Coz I can feel God's presence so strong. And this time round is not Presbyterian church who are on the worship team but instead is Singapore Youth for Christ(SYFC). Wow. I think they really get themselves so prepared and they did a great job.

Now Im so tired.. I wanna sleep but cant sleep. lame. lol.

Guess what is today date??! Is 28th MARCH 2006, AND IS MY SPIRITUAL BIRTHDAY!!! Woohoo!!! Praise God!! And now Im 2 years old. So old liao... Sigh.. Lolx. But Im really very very happy!! Hee. Today I shared my testimony during EVBS. Woah. Im still quite nervous whenever I share my testimony with many people. Ha. I need to overcome my fear. Ha. Yeah!!! Just let me sing hapy birthday to myself. And here I go, "Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to JoJo, Happy Birthday to meeeeee!!!!" Haha. Whee. I love God more and more in my life. Im crazy lover of Christ. I belong to Christ forever!!!

Mmm.. Just went to see a doctor just now about my backbone. Remember?? That one which I been complaining about that my back is killing me. Ha. Doctor said that he dont think I got any problems is juz swollen then he gave me some medicine and then he's done with me. lol. But my teacher think it might be fratured but I really dont know!!! *argh* Alamak. I heard alot of negative things from my parents etc.. nonsense man!! Ya. No worries, man!!! God will protect me and satan cant do anything to me because he dont even have power. haha. But then if the medicine really cant help, then I will go for X-ray!!! woohoo. I never had that before. *diao* Haha. Im going off to bed, Im too tired today and I dont know why. Lol. Oh ya. My email account got problems loh. I cant reply mails.. What the.. What to do?? I dont wanaa change email account. Sigh..

woohoo!!!!! my skateboard rocks!!!! 

today is the term 2 week 1 day 1. lolx. school was alright. timetable change so much.. And the few subjects i dont really like and then ended more periods for that subjects. Alamak. Hee. Tired now. And juz kenna scolded from my dad. I only juz locked the door for a while loh and got scolded by that. what is wrong with him sia??! probably in the bad mood. haha. my hand is killing me. like got something poking me sia.. *ouch*ouch* hee.. I missed LTC. I cant wait for this year's LTC. woohoo..

G12 conference rox!! Haha. Me and Zhan did this while we having our lunch during the conference. lol. 

Woah-ah!!! lol. Juz came back from G12 conference. Feeling abit tired but I dont think Im as tired as some of the leaders in my church. Hee. I learnt alot of stuffs etc. I know God is puting more things in my life now. Trying to get on the ball with things. Hee. I really want to be super great leader. and of coz, some stuffs I still need to change for the better. Need to do better especially for my integration. I must really stay out of my comfort zone when I come to integration. I may not like it at times but I still muz do it no matter what. I dont want a win soul to be lost again. JoJo must do better and greater on integration. Yea!!!

I wanna be a CONQUEROR!!!

Oh man. My back is getting worse, which that one I kept complaining about. I realised I really cannot sit on the floor too long(not more than 30mins) and on the chair (no more than 2hrs), if not is gonna be super pain. *ouch*ouch* And yesterday I just found that my back has been swelling and yet I didnt know. Coz I went to touch it, and immediately ran to my parents and asked them to check it out for me but they didnt find out anything. Just went to get my brother to check it out for me then he said is swollen loh and called me to see a doctor. lol. ok. but sigh.. oh ya. just found that my brother is quite physical touch. Today is his birthday and then he asked me could he get a hug from me. And then I was like sure, you're my brother. Heehee. So I asked him some question, whether he like people to touch him and he said yes. lalala... He is PT and Im so WOF. Haha.. cool.

We were here at Macrichite Reservoir on 10 March 06. Me and my "gan-mummy" of cuz, not real gan-mummy la. My real gan-mummy is Norman's mummy. lol

Benjamin Yeo and me.. Sort of my so-called brother.

Me and Angeline(my classmate from CHC). lolx.

Wah. What a long day that I had for yesterday.. Lol. Morning, went to school for a Changi walkboard then afternoon, went to my school jogathon and then at night got my church, School of Leaders lesson. Hee. Though is kinda tiring but it was good. It can train me. Hee. Sigh. I realised that I cant sit on the floor for too long.. If not, my backbone start to give me problem again. *ouch*ouch* God, quick heal my backbone. It really hurting at times. Argh.. Oh man. I dont know what to say anymore.

ha. Today I went to have lunch with Nor-Mi(Norman) and his mum because tomorrow is Nor's birthday. Mm. Haha. We went to eat Sushi etc.. Eat till like very full. And then remind me of Joulbert, Aiky, Whit and me that we went to eat sushi last year then me eat till I vomit sia. Lol. But today, I didnt. Lol. I realised that whenever I build relationship with Nor, I just love him even more. Coz it remind me of when we were young, we always eat, sleep, play together that kinda stuffs. And I will never forget about the things he did when he was young. So funny. I treat him like my biological brother. Im not even so that close with my biological brother that is older than me 2 years old. Coz he always in his own world that I will never understand. Sigh.. I missed Nor-mi now. Lol. And I also missed God so much.. Hee..

Sat, 4 March 06
Wow. I really got touched by God. I know alot of people notice that I lost my voice, everybody asking me why and what happened to me etc... Er.. At first, I was thinking is kinda difficult to explain why. Last saturday, my church was having a revival meeting and alot of people got touched by God and I was also the one of them who shouted and shouted very loud. I really dont know why I shouted. At first, it was like I felt so frustrated in me and kinda a bit of anger in me that I never release for a very long time. Heee. I think I really shout too much till like I got alot of red small dots on my neck and all over my face. Lol. But is ok. I think God is healing me inside and then I can do better and great stuffs for Him. Haha.. Love God so much. Though now, I still thinking why God will make me shout. lol.

Sun, 5 March 06
Another wow... Haha. Great service on sunday. Hee. I love it!!! And my dad is back from taiwan. He bought me a blue/sliver tie. lol. Haha. Nothing much.

Mon, 6 March 06
Mm.. Went to support Yiyuan with 14 other churchmates just now at mediacrop. We supported him and voted for him etc.. Though now he's out of the campus superstar but inside our churchmate's hearts, he's an awesome singer to us always. We love him so much and plus he is also in the same connect group with me. I really feel the disappointment that he never get into the next round.. But... Nevermind. I believe God has greater plans for him. I always got sooooo mannnyyyy visions about him etc.. So is like I feel happy for him too coz I know he will glorify God with his voice one day. And he gonna touch many lives and win many souls, just like Pastor Sun. Hee. Yiyuan, jia you!!! You're always my great brother-in-Christ!!!! God love you and I love you too and plus all of us from r.n. Woohoo!!!

Wow.. I havent post any blog recently. Mm. ok. Yesterday, just went to watch I not stupid too with almost of my whole school. Is was a great movie. So touching, funny and lame... Lol. Haha. I really remind me of alot of things but I shall not say it here. Mmm.. Im doing fine and great recently, just kept feeling that Im very tired. lol. Need to rest then. Mmm.. I think I really getting to love my cellmates more and more now. I dont know why coz it I dont know how to explain. Hm. Me drinking ice milo now at this timing. Doing some hushing work now and was about to want to do my study hours but somehow this is more important to me. Coz may be partly of my 3rd love language which is Gifts. Lol. Haha. I really learnt alot of my going 2 yrs of my christian life. I learnt to stand firm, to have faith, to honour, to love, to be receptive etc.. Wow. It sound like I have been a long walk about my christian life. But I always think that is not enough. I want to be like pastor and sis von. I want to be great and awesome, I want to do greater stuffs than them. Of coz, not to compare etc.. But we as their next generation disciples should be doing greater stuffs than them. And I know that I havent been doing as much as my "used-to" first work for God. Sometime I really feel guilty. Seeing the new christians are doing better than me and is like Im telling myself that, "No, I need to set an example for them to see." And at times, Im really scare to get reject from my non-christians friends again and again or people that I brought decided not to come anymore. And my heart will break into pieces and then I got to glue it back again like nuts. Argh.. Feel that I need to get myself holy and I want to be a leader. And Im leader in the making. lol. My church wristband thingy. lol. Having headache again. Aiya. And now super duper pain backache, getting worse recently. Thinking to go get a doctor but... I really feel that I dont need but I still have to coz it getting worse. My toe and my ankle are giving me problem too.. Aiyo. So many problems sia. Lol. My mind is going to sleep soon and tomorrow will need to "chong" all the things that are needed to be done. Im feeling very stress now. But yes, I believe that I can do it. lol. Me now missing my friend, Alistair. Ha. Though I talked to him on the phone yesterday. Hee. He's doing fine there. Haha. He calling me to be a kinda SkaterGoth. Lol. Coz there are people in Australia are like that too. Haha. But I guess is still not my time yet but of coz skater is all right. Coz that God's will for me. lol. Mmm.. Loving God more and more every single day. Want to hold His hands and want to hug Him too.. Lolx.. Ok. I think I should stop here then.

Whee. Went to church today for Discipleship sunday. Haha.. So fun and realised that I really feel better compared to last week. Coz I was kinda depressed last few weeks etc. God is healing me and I know. Haha. Though it might not be a total heal up thingy but it ok. I still wanna put my trust in God with all my heart no matter what. Coz I juz simply love Him soooo much. Dont know how to explain to you guyz too. Ha. Oh man. My dad is coming back soon on 3th March 06. Because he went Taiwan for the 16days outfield army training. Is like Im more freed up now and hopefully I can do the things that I have planned and to be done on sunday. Very angry at some of the stuffs but.... Sigh. No time liao.. Aiya. Let drop the topic. lolx. And today, I also brought my skateboard to church. Haha. Suppose to teach Ting Ting how to skate. But she cant. lolx. Nevermind. Now Im trying very hard to practise my stunts. But some how I still dont really have the courage to do too wild stuffs. Coz I have fears in my mind. Partly was thinking for my family, because I also dont want to break my bones coz of skateboarding and worse thing is later still need to go hospital etc. And I juz totally dont want to waste money. To me, Im fine about falling down etc and that's the process of doing successful stunts. Ha. But is juz all because of my family that I dont want them to worry for me. Sigh. What to do??!! Arghh.. Sometime I juz tell God that I dont want to break any of my bones when Im skateboarding. Oh ya. Anyway I did something to my board. I went to pray something on it. Haha. I really like the Air Jesus thingy. Lolx. Juz now I went to tell my mum that my toe have been giving me a hard time seen last year and she said I wanna bring me go X-ray. (-_-") So serious?? Haha.. But it tell me that she really care much now compared to last time. Hee.

Haha. Photoshop is fun. Im a new beginner. Haha. Starting exploring myself that programme etc.. And this is what I did. Of coz, Im not so pro. And anyone want to teach me?? hee.

1st- My skateboard










2nd- Alistair

This is what made for him. Coz me and one of my classmate is doing kinda picture and video clip for him. lolx.

3rd- the graffiti wall of my church.

4th- r.n. + the hands of my churchmates.

Last friday, didnt go school. Fell sick after quarreling with my parents about church etc. Juz got terrible headache, flu and cough. Sigh. I went to see a doctor and Cheryl accompanied me. Whee!!! Haha. Wah. I really like the cough syrup sia. Coz can make me go and sleep when I cant . Lolx. If not, I kept thinking alot of things in my mind. I managed to go for Sunday Service today. Haha. Which make me happy enough. Went for altar call today, my pastor want to pray for those who are in depression etc.. And raise up my hand. Wah. And this what I really needed. I kept crying and crying during altar call, and when pastor prayed I really feel something left me. And after that went into praise etc.. At first, feel so kinda difficult to praise but I was telling myself that I must praise no matter what. So when is finished, I really feel better. But inside my heart is still hollow and empty. And I asked myself that am I back to square one again? And so I went to ask my pastor on msn and she said, "No you're not. God may have cut of things in your life, but now its up to you to keep your freedom." And of coz, she explain to me more etc.. Mm.. Wow. Ok, now I get it. But I feel that is so difficult for me not to think abt it. Is like I dont want to think abt it and yet it juz keep popping out in my mind. Mm. I shall juz ignore it again and again. Muz be that dumb and idiotic satan again!!! you juz GO BACK TO HELL LA!!!!!

Today, 16 FEB 06
Went to school today. Totally feel so numb and depressed. Everyone looking at me, and wondering what's wrong with Joann today. Coz I usually go to school and I will say "hi" to the people I know.. But today, I didnt really do that. So instead of me doing the "hi" thingy but is them. Now I feel that my mind is literally shut down for temporarily, feel soooo exhausted and I kept sleeping in class the whole day today. And my classmates kept waking me up when I was sleeping and I was like trying to stay chilled because I really feel like yelling at them but I told myself that I cant treat them in that way coz they also dont know what has been happening to me and it will be so unfair to them if I do yell at them. I feel like sleeping but whenever I want to sleep then is like I will keep waking up. I also dont know why. Is like when I close my eyes, I kept thinking alot of things and these kept making me even more vexed. *Arghhhh* whatever!!!!


After school
Went to accompany my friend to Far East Plaza to cut his hair and after that I went go home immediately. When I reached home, first thing I usually do is go and bathe. So after that, I feel so vexed and instead going to the wall to punch it or talk to the wall, and guess what I did??? I went to skate and do slightly more "daring" stuffs and in the end, turning up hurting myself even more. But kinda numb to it when I kept falling and falling. Fell on my back and front. E.g.- one of them is split. But Im fine, no worries. Of coz, feel abit better after that. But still alot of things are going on in my mind.


Sigh. Now Im having terrible flu and super duper pain headache. Dont know whether tomorrow should I go to school a not. And that kind of headache is like someone is squeezing your head off with a...... Aiya. Dont know how to describe la.. *Urghhhhh*

sigh.. Im so not in the good mood right now. And today my parents started the whole issue abt church. I mean what's wrong going to church..??!! I love church so much but yet so many things have been happening to me. Im trying to be happy, trying not to bring my problems to school. Of cuz, Im not trying to be 2 people at the same time. But I juz didnt want to be literally depressed in school and Im really scare to vend all my anger in school, teachers or even my schoolmates. I really dont wanna see that come to past. Im just very very tired. And God called me to rest but I just dont know how to. Alot of times, I been alone and also of cuz talking to God. Love Him so much.. And now my parents want me to forget abt Christ in my life. Which is I cant do it and I will never do that. And I tell them abt it and they said,"We give you another chance till you're 21, if you still think that you want to believe in Christ then go ahead and never come home, and dont ever acknowledge us when you see us." And they said they dont mind losing a daughter. And I started to cry, and asked God, "Why am I having this issue again and again?" Coz I really want to take a rest first before I can fight cos I dont know how to fight when I dont have energy. I dont know how to express my emotion. I dont know what wrong with me. I feel so lousy at times, though I know I shouldnt say that. And once again, I lose my confident toward my studies. Sigh. But what I only know is I love God soooo muchhhh that I wont want to let loose of His hand. Coz Im really scare to be lost again, or even maybe I should say Im scare to fall down and wont be able to find a pair of hands to pull me up again. Once again Im so vexed and I dont want to talk to anyone for time being(as in I dont want to talk abt it by using my mouth). Please dont ask me abt my problem personally for until you think Im slightly feeling better. But most people, dont know how to tell because I might be trying to "act" to be crazy or happy in school, just that Im trying to use my own strength to forget my problems. But I think mostly I will only want to share it here. That kind of "slient feeling" and "slient expression". You get me?? Thks for those who been here for me. I know you care etc.. But let me be alone for awhile. .. Keep me in prayer, if you really care for me.

Haha. Went to skate around at 3pm plus. Trying to learn Ollie by myself today. But then kept London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady. lolx. so lame sia. I kept falling from the back. Ha. I think that's the way of processing of learning skateboarding. haha. Ya. and then finally I got my very 1st scratch. Lolx. I know is kinda dumb to post on my blog la. But I really kinda treat my blog as my journal. Haha. oh ya. But anyway I can do Ollie abit liao... But sometime I will still fall again and again. All the way, Jo!! Coz I can do it!! And I still want to reach out to all the skaters. And as I was playing with it today. Then one of my neighbour saw me trying to do tricks and she said these to me, "With God's grace and His vision for you, you will one day become a pro skater." Haha. I was like coooooll.. And thank her for encouraging me and I smiled to God (and of cuz I was imaging God's face in front of me). Haha. So happy sia.. Yeah! I muz work on all the visions that God has for me.

Speech from JoJo: Woah!! Firstly I want to thank my Daddy-in-heaven, my spiritual parents, the leaders that are above me and all those r.n. members. Hehe. Dont know what to say liao.. -blushing-

So for those who dont know what's going on. My church gave me 2 big presents today because I completed the whole NLT bible for 2005. I think I started at Jan and finished at Sept, and I started reading NKJV bible. And so blah blahh... And is a total berserk for me to receive this skateboard and NJKV bible. Haha. Guess what?? Before service, I already saw the long rectangle box at the corner. And I thought you guyz are giving me a cooler fan. Wow. Quite cool arh when I read my bible with that and my hair will be blowing here and there. lol. kidding. So when I got up to stage today, while Pastor was presenting the cert to me for completing bible reading for 2005. And another hand I already saw Jassie holding a NKJV bible (which going to pass it to pastor to present it to me) and I was like sooo happy already.... Cos I wanted a NKJV bible for very longgg... But I dont have money to buy it. [And also I been reading the small NKJV bible which I borrowed it from Pastor.] And so that moment I already forgotten about the "long rectangle thingy box" at the corner. Haha. But Pastor said still got one more present to give me. And then I was like woah.. What's inside the long box thingy heh?? So I opened it up and Im like...... Woohoo.. Is a skateboard!!!! Im totally shocked and dont know what to say. Feel like crying but cant.. And so I hugged my Pastor. lolx. Is soooo coooooool arhh... And heng arh.. I almost buy a skateboard from my cousin yesterday.. And also I want to thank Bro.Sean and Daryl for choosing this skateboard for me. I love you guyz, r.n. sooo muchhhh.. So are you guyz inspired by me for completing my bible reading and all the presents I got from my lovely and awesome church??! So you better read your bible everyday single day. Complete it within a year and the next one could be YOU!! lolx. sound so like Singapore Idol. Nah.. This is even better than Singapore Idol. Oops =X. Haha.


Oh ya. To be fair, I re-read the whole NKJV version again. So hope that you guyz can catch up with me coz Im now at Luke 4. And you guyz got to read and study the bible even faster than me. Because I cant get to read my bible everyday. And why?? Coz my parents dont allow me to read my bible at home. I only can read it when they are out or when they get to bed. Yup. So seeya guyz!!

Yesterday I saw this cat. He so cute.. He walked toward me and played with shoelaces. Hee. And I played with him too..





Went to cut my hair today. Mm.. Is nice but very ex.... Aiya. I shouldnt have mess up my hair. oh man. But I quite like the messy style I did. Anyway my hair suppose to be very nice arh when the hairstylist styled it for me. Haha. But I went to mess it up. *urgh* =) But what Im happy is no more longgggg fringe that covered my left eye. (though I quite like the longgggg fringe thingy.) But oh man, that hairstylist lady cut my "tail" and now is shorter.. Sob sob. But it ok. Hee.

Haha. Woah! Last tuesday, I got an awesome dreams from God. Come and ask me arh.. Hee.. And I really want to thank God soooo muchh.. I always want to post but I forget. Hee. Mm. Is like everytime I sleep very late and at times I really scared that I will be very very tired the next morning. Aiya. Not I dont want to sleep early la, is juz that sometimes sighh... Nevermind, But you guyz know what I usually pray when I sleep very late?? Well, I tell God that, "God, make the time slow down and let me sleep now within in 15mins time and must sure that tomorrow I will feel more alert. AND I WANT A COOL AND AWESOME DREAMS FROM YOU and Amen!" So I really fall asleep very soon after my prayer and I really got my dreams and I did rest well even though I slept very late. Haha.. But at times, I really got fall asleep in my class because I cant absorb liao. Ya. Hee.. You see??! God really love us and I love Him too. Yeah!!! =) HE rulez!!!

The Last Supper (lego) 

Ya. Mm.. I think alot of people received lot and lot of angbaos right?? Hahaha. Be thankful and greatful about it. I got $240 plus this year and compare to last year I only got lesser than $140. And Im already so happy about it. But this year, all my angbaos money I kinda "loan" $200 it to my mum. Coz I think she and my dad need the money more than I do. Though I got some stuffs that I want to get but I think it over and over again and saying that I might not need it now. Ya. Im feeling happy now that I can at least help my parents abit. Sigh.. And another 40 bucks, I went to pay my church camp fee that I owe for so long... Haha. Finally!!! Whee. And now I really want to get more freed up. I want to go to church, I want to go for all the leaders' meeting, I want to stay in church till at least 7pm every sundays. I want so muchhh about my church... But now.. Sigh..

Oh man. Another day of bright sunshine, when I was suppose to be soooo happy in the morning. Getting ready to go to church and have fun. But today, while Im on my way there to church, my dad suddenly give a call and said that got last minute family gathering and wants me to go home at 2pm. And I was like what the... Oh man. And why is it always must be on sunday. I missed church sooo muchhhh... I feel like crying but I was trying to hold on to my tears. Trying to put a smile on my face, pretending to be happy but inside me is another disappointing pain. And when I reach church, again my dad called and I didnt know coz I put my phone is silent mode and after intercession I checked my phone and I see 5 missed calls and is from my dad. And he also send a message and saying that he want to confiscate my phone and cut off my line. Then so I decided to return him a call and asked him what did I do to make him do that, but just before I opened my mouth to ask he started yelling at me etc.. calling me to go home and claiming that I hang up his calls etc.. I really didnt do it la. I dont even dare loh. Sigh. And I really cant hold my tears anymore and I started to cry. I hate to cry. I was not like that. But now.. ehhh.. lolx. Weird heh? Super duper tired sia.. I want to sleep but cant.. But what I still dont understand is I been sowing my love in my parents. I been loving them, trying to understand them but in the end, I get even worse result. Izit everything I do will turn out to nothing??? And I dont want that. Im really worn out. I always tell myself to be happy whenever Im down. And at times I will feel better etc.. but after for a while I feel tired again. Why is that so?? I want to be like sanguine at times. They get over negativity so fast. And I must always rebuke till Im going nuts about it. I want joy!!!

Haha. sorry for being so bo liao. coz i nothing to do now. ya. but i really love my shoes alot la.









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Ok. Why is my daddy disappointed today?? Coz partly was my mum. We were actually very happy today. But then my dad's van kinda broke down and he need to repair it, so that later can go out together to eat. So after he was almost done with his van. Suddenly my mum got very bad gastric. Then she was hoping that my brother can come back faster from school and so that we as a family can go out to eat together. But suddenly my brother called back home and said that he got last mintue project which tomorrow need to hand in to his teacher and also claimed that he might not be celebrating with us. And then my mum started to be kinda angry with my brother. Then she said she want to change now and then we will go without my bro coz she cant tahan any longer. After she changed her clothing etc.. She went to called my dad alot of times but he didnt pick up coz his hands was dirty because he was repairing his van mah. Then when he come back home, my mum scolded my dad and blah blah.. Then she come to me and scolded me for wasting money to buy my dad a cake. Oh man. Im so innocent la. dotx. Sigh. So after that, my mum cooked herself some food and then eat alone. And we in the end, we didnt go out and eat. So it was about 7.30pm already then my brother called back again and said that he will be back at 8.15pm. And we celebrated my dad's birthday at 9pm and my mum didnt want to join us. And she said," no need wan la.. who's cares about it." Oh man. At that moment, I really think my dad's heart break into pieces. Sob sob. And after that I went to gave him a very big hug and he thanked me for buying cake for him etc.. . Im so happy sia. But Im also hurted by mum treating my dad in that way.

Muahahaha.. Today is my dad's birthday and this year he is 50 years old. Wow.. Time flies. Mm.. And guess what?? He said in his 50 years of life, he never celebrate his birthday before. Wah. Can you believe it?? Oh man. But he's kinda happy and sad today. I will tell you more later for the next post. Now is photos time!! Haha.




I guessed he's trying to smile. But inside his heart is a bit disappointed.








Haha. "MAKE A WISH, DADDY!!"

lolx. it does look like he's praying hor? Haha. And he really take very long to make a wish. I guessed he making a lot of wishes. And hoping that one of the wishes is he want to know Christ one day. woohoo. AMEN!! =)








CUT THE CAKE!!!!