guess who's birthday on 17th November 2005?

 

argh.. just came back from chalet..
Mmm.. later then i post photos. not free now.
ya. i love to post photo.
this morning, one of my friends kicked me down from the bed.
and then hit my head twice while im trying to get up. bad sia...

Mm.. going to chalet later. for only 3 days 2 nights. lol. yeah. wont be at home. oops =X! haha. coz im abit tired of the "war" going on at home.. war mean parents always quarreling etc.. sigh. oh man! nevermind. haha. so happy. going there to study also. preparing to study maths and 'N' level science physics for normal. wah.. brain juice leaking.. kidding. oh man! i think is a bit profound. haha. nevermind maybe next year when teacher ask question then may be i can answer all questions. then teacher will be so proud of me. lol. steady la. haha. Mmm.. im bit tired now because i went to drink a glass of ice coffee this morning. im like going to doze off. lol. im weird, heh? drink coffee will sleep. haha. im special la.. not weird. is not easy to find the same kind of people like me who drink coffee and then will fell asleep. haha. so far i only found 2 persons. we are special! lol. haha.

Muahahaha.. Me again still not in bed but yet trying to post something. Lolx.. Aiya. Actually just couldnt get myself to bed. Lol. You know what? i feel like sleeping now. diao, right? heehee.. Lol. Mmm.. oh man! i really missed my church, churchmates and the fun during sunday service. sigh. is a long story why i cant go to church for this 2 week. Come and ask me if you want to know. i will tell you everything. argh... so sian...! missing one week of sunday service is like missing it for 1 month or may be 1 year. .? oh no! then it mean that im going to miss church for 2 years??!! nono.. i think im getting too exaggerate. eh.. am i? [someone answer me!!] oh man.. i never repeat this again. coz i dont want to miss sunday service ever again. last sunday is like im trying to make my sunday like monday. but i know it wouldnt work. sigh. i felt kinda stupid now. lol. i want to go back to church as soon as possible. i cant wait any longer. ya.

now what?! i dont know what to post la..
anyone want to help me? lol.
im for real! help me. i will be glad.
i mean im still JoJo la. not glad.
also dont know who is glad. okok.
here go again. start talking lame stuffs to entertain myself. lol.

Mm.. continue from yesterday. ya. sigh. today i went out with my parents again. today is the worse day, they kept quarreling in car, shopping centre, and everywhere they go. trying to stop them, but i just couldnt. sigh. that why, i hate about quarreling.. it really hurt so much when i have to be the first to witness it. honestly sometime i still do have feeling for my mum but is all hiding inside my heart(just dont know how to show it). i want to sow love in her but why is it so difficult? i did tried. ya, i remembered once it was about a year ago, i was there for her when she cried. i was the one who went to console her and hugged her. sometime im just wandering does she feel the love. at times i feel so tired trying to forgive her but im still trying. i know she is not perfect but what i want now is i want her to know that i still love her even though she hurted me so much when i was young. but whenever she scold or yell at me for nothing, i just feel like taping her mouth. coz whatever she said is like blades cutting my heart. when i was young, i always asked my brother a question and the question is if you had a chance, do you want to have another mummy which better than this mummy. and his answer is always a no.. and after that it always make me wonder why my brother's answer is a no. is like why cant he feel that this mummy is so hurting and so negative etc.. Sigh. i feel so dumb right now, if i were to ask my brother that question again. maybe inside my mum's heart she love me, and she just dont know how to show it to me especially now i have grown up. argh.. oh man. i hate it. the wounds are already cut so deeply inside my heart.



Dear God, teach me how to forgive my mum.

Mmm.. let me see. it been few days that I havent post anything on my blog. haha.. me really cant sleep, so decided to post something loh. hm. went out with my parents today. yup. argh.. they kept quarreling.. sigh.. just because of small little things.. lol. then my dad would let my mum win first then slowly he will explain to her nicely. hee. sweet heh? haha. All i want to see is my family to be happy everyday, understanding toward each other, loving, caring and most of all is i want my childhood to be cool and great. I went to look at some of my old photos today. Especially those picture i had with my mum, i never really smile when i take photo with her and i only have a few of pictures with her. and i dont know why. if things can go back again, i would really like everything to change esp my issues with my mum. i dont want any bad memories and scars to be left all inside my mind and heart. Sometime i just dont understand why does parents never think of how their kids feel... (sigh.another long story.) when i was young, i thought when i grow up everything will be alright. i thought the pain and bad memories will disappear as i grow up but i was wrong. sometime is just getting worse. try not to think of it.. but instead it remind me even more things. sigh. i want to get rid of all these pain. i dont want to go on like that. i been trying to forgive my mum but it seem so difficult to forgive her. why izit so difficult to forgive a person? sigh. right now my heart is so pain and yet i dont know how to deal with it.

having balloons party?? no la..
is juz one of my cell members' birthday and is JOEY!!
lolx.. he's the cutest boy there.. juz right at the middle.. heehee..

Yea.. Me out of parental objection..
lolx.. it may be short.
But i really learn alot from this...
I really thank God for growing me..
Heehee.. Which mean Im walking the right track with God.
Yeah!!!

Mmm.. Nice!!! I took it while i was heading to my church.. 

after what i have said to the dog.. he decided not to be shy and overcome his fear, just like me... 

haha.. another who got camera shy..
Come on, dont be shy. Juz give your best shot..

Hor... Who is the one?! Admit it!!! Lolx.. 

Security check.. scare that got terrorist.. haha. Alistair, are you the one? Oops =X. Kidding..

arriving hall..  

shy little Marcus.coz he got camera shy.. boh pian la... i was once like that too.. but no choice.. must get ride of the fear.. haha 

haha.. one of favourite pic... 

nice anot? i took this pic down.. 

Alistair and I cant bear to leave ubin.. lolx. 

byebye to ubin.. sob sob.. =( 

Ahhhh... finally on the boat.. going home.. 

this too... rocky paths.. but this one got more holes and branches... haha..  

another of the rocky paths... 

this is one of our rocky paths that we cycled.. heehee.. it was fun.. but our butt hurt alot after that..*ouch*ouch* 

haha.. Alistair took this pic down.. i also dont know why.. maybe he want to remember where we have cycled. 

this is the 3rd beach we went... 

hahaha.. Alistair, the yan dao kia.. heehee.. the pic is nice, right?  

finally the four of us... haha.. chatting and lacking around.. 

this is the 2nd beach.. and we took a long rest from there.. and luckily Elgin didnt really hurry us this time round.. 

this is the mini-hut, that my churchmate, Daryl got his fort fit. dont remember? during the LTC 2004 June holidays. and he got to eat the squid thingy? remember now? haha. =D 

Mmm.. Elgin is using Alistair's water to wash his muddy leg. 

to churchmates, hee.. take a closer look, yea? easier for you guyz, right?