ARGHHHHH!!!
I'm feeling like I'm just a piece of SHIT when I come to some certain friendship. I'm always caught up in the middle of somewhere and somehow with someone! I really hate it! I can't really rate myself from the scale of 1-10. Like seriously? WTH! Yes, I do have quite big group of friends in my life. But that doesn't mean... ****!! Arghhhhh! I think I am a good friend and I'm nice to almost everyone. I do build relationship with everyone but not many can have this "strong" relationship of mine with all of you.
Maybe I can give an example:
Good Friend "A" will be "jealous" / "upset" with me because I spend time with Good Friend "B". Then Good Friend "C" will be "jealous" / "upset" with me because I spend time with Good Friend "A" & "B". All my Good Friend "A", "B" and "C" will come together and tell me... "Is ok, you go and spend time with him/her, ok? I'm just fine. I know you care and love him/her more."
Arghhh!! Come on! What is more? I love all of you. Sometime is not easy to love and spend time with everyone at one go. Unless you want me to combine all my good friends together and we shall hang out some time soon? Sound pretty cool? My dearest close/ good friends, trust me, I do love all of you. You see.. You have your time, love, personal stuffs, school, work and blah blah... Me toooo.. :( I'll find time for you, just give me time. Will you? Can you? Please. At least, I do care by texting you, asking how are you, facebook-ing and etc. (Sometimes you don't even bother replying me back. What's up? Angry with me? I'm sorry.)
My lovely friends, sometime I do get very upset too when I see all of you spending time with other friends & things in your life. I don't complain because I don't want you to feel bad. I'm human too, I have feelings. We are not perfect. I tried my best to be your good friend, will you do the same for me? Please. I rather keep it silent then whining all about it. Nobody like it. Am I right? I can't satisfy everyone's "wants" & "needs". Yeah. Probably I am important to you, that is why, you are unhappy with me. I understand but I'm not yours at all times. I'm Joann, only one Joann Quek. I'm not omnipotent. I don't have mighty power, I can't be there for everyone at one go. I tried to my best to feed everyone's "Love Tank". At least, I tried. I believed that I most probably have been there for most of you and with my unconditional love. :)
You get what I mean? No matter how imperfect you are.. You are still gonna be my friend. Good friend. Maybe there are times, I do get annoyed by you, your personality, your character, your disgusting bad habits etc.. But if I have already build this "strong" friendship with you. You got my mutual trust on you and no one can break it unless you, yourself. Please don't ever do that to me because you gonna break this big heart of mine and it's not easy to fix it back. :) I love all of you. xoxo. :)
And please don't push me away when I'm really available to spend time with you. Please don't break up this friendship because at the end of day, you make yourself upset, I'll be upset too. We just need to jump over these hurdles and have a breakthrough together. Cheers!